Tuesday, September 15, 2009

OB or Not OB

******My apologies to any male readers on this one.  I have a feeling that you can not relate.  This may be too much information for you and may cause unnecessary emotional scarring.  Be warned!

I had my yearly OB appointment today.

Yes.  That one.

And here is what gets me.

First, you are ushered back to the exam room, where inevitably a perky nurse takes your weight.  Not fun!  And this year, not accurate!  I have proof.   Both my scale and the gym scale TODAY read exactly the same weight.  The OB's?  4 pounds heavier.  Are they trying to induce panic attacks in the hopes of sending some poor pregnant lady into labor early?  Next year, I am just making a conscious decision to not look.  My whole day will be better.

Next, you are made to wait for the doc for for-ev-er.  This though is not the bad part.  The bad part is that you  are made to wait for the doc sans bottoms.  Yes, ladies.  You know I am right.  You sit.  And, you wait.  And your bottom is just naked and flapping in the wind. (If there were wind, but there is not, so I guess I digress.)  The only covering the nurse gives you is a flimsy paper blanket about the thickness of a poor coffee filter.  If my kids were there (Which they weren't.  Thank you lord!), I wouldn't even have let them color on that blanket with markers, because it was so thin, inevitably a rainbow of color would bleed through it.

Finally, during the exam, when you are positioned precariously in stirrups with your nether areas exposed for the world (ok. ok.  - the doctor!  Forgive my exaggeration.) to see,  the said happy doc begins to shoot the breeze.  Yes, that's right.  Doc makes small talk and asks about your vacation and your summer and, well, whatever.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I am all about a caring and concerned physician, but talking while your legs are spread and your privates are on show?  That is just something that I can not do.

So, all in all, an interesting afternoon.

I am sooooooo looking forward to next year!

1 comment:

  1. The only thing worse than this picture is imagining your 85 year old mom getting her FIRST OB exam smear. I tell you, I still have not recovered. I promise Annie YOU WILL NEVER have to go through that.
    Just put me in a home.


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