So, up for my absolution today are the following:
1. I sneak and eat my kids' Halloween candy at night after they are asleep. So far, they are clueless to the fact that their stash is slowly dwindling, and clearly, I am not going to let them in on it. If they ask, I will lie. I am not proud of this. OK. OK. I am a little proud of it, but mostly I just like getting my chocolate fix.
2. I have considered pulling up the drywall man's pants so I don't get flashed with his ever-present hairy, butt cleavage. I have considered it, but I have not done it. I am too chicken . . . but I play the scene over and over in my mind.
3. My friend's kids have the swine flu. When she told me about it, instead of feeling empathy for her hard week of sickness ahead, I mentally calculated the last time my kids had played with her kids. Then I breathed a sigh of relief that the kids' playtime was not within the H1N1 contagious window.
4. When hubby decided to go as The Pope to a Halloween costume party, I actually considered going in the following costumes . . . a pregnant nun (bad!), a prostitute (worse!!), and an altar boy ( I thought for sure I would go to hell for this one!!!)
5. I accidently threw out hubby's issue of Sports Illustrated.
6. When asked about said Sports Illustrated, I promptly walked over to the garbage can, pulled it out, dusted it off, and brought it to hubby. I am not sure that he knows where it was, but I do not intend to tell him.
That's all I can think of at the moment.
But really, after lying to the kids and hubby . . . isn't that enough???