Friday, April 1, 2011

When Skydiving Equals Sex . . .

Clearly, I have some more explaining to do.

This morning my group-on coupon email detailed a tandem skydiving adventure for 50% off.  Knowing that hubs is terrified of heights, I joked with Ab, "You think that I should buy the tandem skydiving jump for me and dad?"

She rolled her eyes, started giggling nervously, and said, "No!  We don't want anymore babies in this house."



I gently prompted her, "Hon?  Why would jumping out of a plane result in more babies?"

She blushed and then answered in a half whisper, "You know. . . you and dad will be strapped together like when you . . ." and then she paused, glanced over her shoulder to look for hubs, and breathlessly finished, " . . . have sex!"

With difficulty, I contained my laughter, and explained, "Well, just hugging a person close is not the same as having sex.  You wouldn't get a baby from jumping out of a plane holding someone close."

Relief washed over her as she exclaimed,  "Oh!"

I chuckled at the way her mind worked, and thinking that our conversation was over, I went back to my morning coffee and emails.

Then she dropped the bomb.

"So what parts of the body do have to touch . . .exactly . . . to make a baby?"

Clearly, I have some more birds and bees explaining to do.

*******For other birds and bees explanations . . . see Basking in the Afterglow,  Lyrically Speaking,  and Visiting Santa.  (And no . . . Santa is not a pedophile . . .)******

And, after going through these links I realize ( even more) that I could use some help with the birds and bees explanations from any of you out there.  Help a girl out, won't ya? :)


  1. Bwhahahaha! I love it.

    I have not had to have this conversation with my kids but my mom read me a book which explained all the mechanics and then told me to keep my legs crossed at all times.

    I don't think I uncrossed my legs for years.

  2. Oh, I am so glad you visited my blog...I love yours!

    Yeah, this is not a fun conversation with the kids. Our oldest daughter sent us a card when she turned 20, "You're welcome that I was never your pregnant teenage daughter." I guess something we said must have worked!

  3. Oh god I avoid these type of discussions at all costs! Sorry, but too uncomfortable. I don't know you might have been better off letting her believe that getting too close to a person could result in a baby. I totally believe in the "keep them scared" theory of child rearing.


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