I think so.
And the name, Blissdom, is supposed to be an encouragement to follow your own bliss, an idea that I agree with wholeheartedly. I absolutely think that a person should do what makes his or her heart happy. But (And isn't there always a but?), here's my dilemma.
I love to blog. I love to write and to connect to all of you out there in bloggy world. I do believe that this writing thing IS my bliss to follow.
But . . .
How do you follow your bliss when your bliss is not in your budget?
Yes, as much as I would like to attend Blissdom, I really can't justify spending money for the conference, hotel, travel, and food and entertainment. It could (and probably would) be well over $500 dollars.
In our family budget, five hundred dollars is a lot! It is the equivalent of a month's worth of groceries or a car payment and insurance payment put together.
And that is what makes it so hard for me. I wish I could say that I had a strong faith and that I knew that God would provide for me if I decided to go for my bliss, but I can't. I struggle with my faith daily. My relationship with God is something that I am constantly working on. It is a journey for me.
And on the map of my long journey, I am not yet at the exit that says, "Close your eyes and leap." Instead, I am stuck in a traffic jam in Doubtsville.
Truthfully, if it comes down to choosing a weekend to explore my writing and blogging OR groceries for my family, I will pick feeding my family every time.
But, I wish I had the faith to just close my eyes, and take that leap.
Thanks for letting me vent.