Not My Child! Monday

It is Monday and in the spirit of mixing it up, I will still be joining MckMama's crazy Not Me! therapy ride, but this time it will be a Not My Child!  Monday.  I think that I have enough material to write an entire book on the Not My Child! theme, so feel free to stop whenever you feel that your eyes start to cross or bleed from overuse.

Onto the insanity that defines my kiddies . . .

It is certainly not my child that continually likes to stick her chubby little fingers into her freshly pooped in diaper.  My child would not enjoy the feel of that gross poopie, and she certainly would not choose to paint with it whenever no one was looking.  My child would follow in her mom's footsteps and embrace a love of the clean smell of white vinegar and/ or chlorine bleach.

It is also not my child that still removes every stitch of his clothing each and every time he uses the facilities.   And, lord knows that my child would never strip down to his birthday suit even when we use public restrooms.  My child would also know better than to sit down on the public restroom floor while naked in order to redress himself.  Clearly, I would have taught my child the dangers of germs and would never have allowed such crazy behavior.

It was not my child that did not have her hair brushed for 3 consecutive days last week.

And, furthermore, it was not my other child that accompanied me to the grocery store while still in her summertime pjs.  Ridiculous!

Finally, it was not my children that decided to draw pictures in the remodeling dust that accumulated on our dining room table.  My children would use the proper tools like crayons and paper!

I am sure that I have many, many, many more, but these are just the ones that happened in the last few days.

Happy Monday!

***** The links are to more in depth stories about those specific Not My Child antics.