Monday, January 3, 2011

What Do You Say When . . .

What do you say when . . .


-your six year old son says, "WOW mom!  My penis is sooooooo big right now."?

- you discover that your three year old has a secret hiding place under the dining room table where she has hidden her babies, your cell phone, and an old banana?

-you discover that said hiding place is also where your 3 year old goes to pick her nose in "pwi- vate."?



What do you say when . . .

-you are looking for your favorite pair of tweezers and your nine year old daughter remarks, "Yeah mom.  I was going to tell you that you needed to tweeze."?

-your three year old declares, "No panties!  I don't like panties!!"?

-your husband explains, "I thought that I would help with the laundry.  I put a load of my sweatshirts in the wash . . . on delicate."? 



And finally . . .


What do you say when . . .

-you discover that your team name at the local watering hole's trivia night is Crouching Woman, Hidden Cucumber?   (Stop laughing!  I am not making this stuff up, and it gets worse.)

- you find out that you have been selected to represent team Crouching Woman, Hidden Cucumber in a trivia game musical tie in front of the entire population of the watering hole?

-the trivia game's emcee asks, "Are you THE Crouching Woman, Hidden Cucumber?"  (See.  I told you.)



Yeah.

I am speechless too.

12 comments:

  1. Bwhahahahahahaa..... excellent way to start my day. As to the penis comment, there are moments I am thankful I am not yet a parent, and reading that might be one of them. Because I have no idea what the hell I would say. Knowing me, I'd ignore it and make my husband (who also doesn't exist but does for the purposes of this pretend "how I would deal with this situation" hypothetical) handle it. Yup. Avoid and delegate. Totally what I would do.
    As for your trivia name... LOVE IT. I played with some guy friends of mine before I left school, and their team name was Harpoontang. What?? Another team was the Pearl Necklace Productions. It was a classy establishment, what can I say....

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  2. Oh and 30... so far so good :)

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  3. Haha! Thanks for the laugh. It's certainly nice to read my 3 year old monkeys aren't the only ones who leave bananas under a table for later!

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  4. These are the days you're going to LOVE in years to come -- enjoy and don't forget to get this blog printed! As for the penis comment, it's all in perspective, isn't it! Was your moment on television and did you have a banner? That would be soooooo cool!

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  5. To all of them say, "Mommy needs to embibe in an adult beverage or forty and Mommy will be back in a week!"

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  6. Um, can I just say I caught one of my girls with a giant booger perched on the tip of her finger and she was looking at it like she was about to try it. I screamed at her to go get a Kleenex. At least your daughter has a hiding place to do it in private. Mine doesn't care who sees her, apparently. LMAO

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  7. I don't mind the babies and cell phone as much as the old banana. Yucky!

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  8. Thanks for taking one for the team, musical representative!!!

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  9. You don't say anything. You simply write a fabulous post and make us all laugh. :)

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  10. LMAO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhahahahaha!! Wow, if only my life were THAT entertaining!! Awesome :)

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  11. Was this all in one day? *Shudder* May The Force be with you.

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  12. LOL! Love it. You had me at "My penis is so big right now!"

    Kids are so funny. I cannot wait until my 16th month old talks!

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