Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Not Just Any Tom (or Dick or Harry) Makes My List

****I am linking this with Mama Kat this week.  Hop on over and check her out!

Dear Tom,

There was once a time when I proudly displayed your name on my Top 5 list.  Yes, that is right, back when you were on your first impossible mission, back when you were interviewing that vampire, you were one of my Top 5 freebie men.  If the timing had been right,  and if the two us had met somewhere out there, you could have been my celebrity hook-up that was approved by hubs, because, dear Tom, you were on my list.  In fact, at one point, you may have very well been my number one potential freebie, but no more, my friend.

No more.

I regret to inform you that your Top 5 status has been revoked, effective immediately.

The reasons for your fall from my status are as follows:

1.  You jumped on Oprah's couch.  Seriously,  what were you thinking?
2.  You fell "in love" with Katie Holmes.  Really?  I am sure that she is a lovely girl and all, but last time I checked, she was still swimming in Dawson's creek, and you, my dear, no longer have all the right moves
3.  You insulted Brooke Shields when she was down with post-partum depression.  That was some risky business right there buddy.  You are lucky that all of the post partum women of the world did not hunt you down with their top guns.
4.  You went on the Today show and said that psychiatry and mental illness were bogus.  My thoughts? You can't handle the truth that you may, in fact, have a mental illness yourself.
5.  And finally, you made your wife give birth silently and without drugs as per your Scientology beliefs.  I love my husband and all, but, let's face it, no man can silence this mouth,  and even a war of the worlds could not have kept me from my painkillers.  Any man that requires silence and no meds is not one of a few good men in my book.

So to recap, dear Tom,  you are no longer freebie list material.

I thank you for the past fantasies, but your status is far and away no longer needed in this household.




  1. Oh I loved this ... loved how you hang him with his own movie titles!! He did seem to go round the bend after he left Nicole, didn't he?

  2. This was awesome. Loved how you used the movie titles. :)

    And yeah, Tom Cruise is weird now.

  3. Exactly... come to think of it, didn't Nicole's career soar after they parted, and his kind of went down?... I think so... whatever, the appeal isn't the same, anymore...

  4. Loved this!
    You are really creative :)

  5. He has dropped from my list too, it's Risky Business supporting Tom these days! Who knows what he'll do next - whacko.

  6. You're so right. I stopped spending any money on Tom Cruise right when he talked about mental illness not being real. He's the nut job!

  7. So creative to include his movie titles! Loved this post! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog on my SITS day!


I love, love, love to read your comments!


Image: istock photo, Design by Bloggy Blog Designz Copyright © 2010