It's My Blog and I Will Post If I Want To . . .

As I sit here and drink my morning coffee, this is my view.

Would you be blogging if this was your back porch view?

I didn't think so.

On a different note, I am enjoying reading all of your posts out there in bloggy world. You guys are the sugar in my coffee.

Thank you!!

Be back to the real world soon with tales of my adventures . . . Are you ready????

Dinner Is (Soft) Served

It's vacation time.

And, when it's vacation time . . . some rules just go out the window.

Like the rule about finishing dinner BEFORE you eat dessert??

When it's vacation, sometimes dessert IS dinner.

After all, if you can't eat ice cream for dinner on vacation, when can you?

And yes . . .

my kids think I am a rock star mom.

Go to the Light Dora!

I have decided to do something drastic.


After a 1o hour car trip that took 14 hours . . .

and a beach rental that only has one TV . . .

I have decided.



Dora the Explorer must die.


Now, I have to admit. I did not come to this idea all by myself. I was inspired by one of the characters on the fabulous TV show, Modern Family. After a uncharacteristic stint as a stay-at-home dad, one of the characters admitted his secret desire to take out the Explorer, herself. He said, "I am plotting Dora's murder. I am going to fill that backpack with rocks and dump her in the river. " And as I laughed because I could soooooo totally identify, I began to consider the possibility. It wasn't until my recent road trip with the kiddies, however, that I plotted it in earnest.

Dora must die.

I figure I could send her on an adventure in which she will never come back. I can send her to find the great "white light". Along the way, Boots the Monkey can find his very own cement monkey shoes, and Swiper the Fox can get sideswiped by a Mack truck. The map can commit suicide after meeting Mr. GPS and discovering that he is now, in fact, completely useless. Finally, Dora and her backpack can sing "C'mon, Vamanos!" as they skip merrily into the light.

It would be a beautiful passing.

Ahhhh.

Too bad it's only a dream.


*****Any other characters need offing?? Let me know. I am probably your girl.********

On the Road Again . . .

Question: What does one "mommed" van + one crazy mama + three bored kiddies equal??

Answer: The words, "NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!!" said 15,000 times.


Pray for me!


6 hours down.

4 1/2 more to go.

We Made it to 10!!

Dear Paul,

Tomorrow is our 10th wedding anniversary.( And you thought I would forget!)

It amazes me how much has changed in the last 10 years. You have grey hair. I pluck my greys out.(Or use a sharpie marker on them. I have a feeling that that will not work for much longer.) We both have a bit of a belly that we attribute to baby weight. Sympathetic baby weight gain for you . . .

You're good like that.

We have made homes in three places. We have repaired floors, ceilings and walls, and we have replaced bathrooms and kitchens. We have planted about a gazillion hostas, and we have ripped out loads and loads of ivy. (Remember discovering that it was poison? eek!) You have killed bees, and I have killed plants.

We're good like that.

We have had a few cars in our years together. Remember when we were both young and cool and had SUV's, with leases? We were so dumb, but we both loved those cars! Or what about our first family mobile, the Honda Accord. I loved it. You hated it. Getting in and out of that car made your knees creak something fierce! And what about your beloved Green Hornet, our green mini van? 13 years old. 200,000 miles. Used car. That car had character! I mean, starting without a key? That's a fantastic quality for a harried family that often loses their keys. I will always remember it fondly, as it safely got me and my babies from here to FL multiple times, albeit without any form of style. And now we have graduated to my mommed out van. I love it (because it is so darn practical) and I hate it (because it is so darn practical). Thanks for letting me drive the fun car, the jeep, when I go out by myself. You know me so well!

'Cause you are good like that.

And through our life journey, we have created three beautiful blessings, Ab, Ethan, and Ellerie. They have smothered us in love and wet kisses (and puke and poop and other grossness), and they have challenged every idea that we ever had about being a "good" parent. We have giggled together about their turn of phrase (remember E's tentacles??), and we have consoled each other over many an ER trip. Broken bones, roto virus, ear aches, and flus have not broken us, babe. We are still strong.

We're good like that.

I thank God every day for blessing me with you and our relationship.

For better or for worse, I'm your girl forever, buddy. . .

'Cause I'm good like that.

Love,

Your Annie

Twenty Things I WILL NOT Do (And You Can't Make Me!)

20 things I vow NOT to do this summer . . .

1. I will not cry when I inadvertently kill my tomato plant.
2. I will not mutter under my breath grumpily when I am forced to buy tomatoes from the local farmer's market after I kill my tomato plants.
3. I will not lie when others taste my fabulous tomato sauce and ask if it was made with tomatoes I have grown myself. I will fess up, even if it kills me.


4. I will not cry because my kitchen remodel is still not done.
5. I will not become impatient with the kitchen's progress and hire out the rest of the work to a local handyman.
6. I will not give up the friendly pestering of hubs to get the job done. (Love you hubs! Smooches!!)


7. I will not cry when I drive all three of my kiddies 10 hours, by myself, in our yearly quest to see the ocean.
8. I will not leave my bickering and fighting children on the side of the highway, despite my overwhelming desire to do so.
9. I will not drink myself into a coma when I arrive at our vacation destination out of sheer relief that the road trip is over. (I will have at least one drink, however. Or three. Just sayin'.)

10. I will not cry when I put on my summer bathing suit and check myself out in the mirror, despite any stretch marks, cellulite, flab or the like. I will embrace my womanly body, and be proud of my health without apology. (So there! sticks tongue out . . .)
11. I will not worry about what I look like in a bathing suit when I am at the pool or the beach. ( I have invested in some fabulous rose colored glasses for just this problem.)
12. I will not sit out of the fun of summer just because some magazine tells me that I should look a certain way. I will swim and jump and sing and dance and frolic (OK. OK! Maybe not frolic . . . but definitely the others.) this summer. I will enjoy this season to the hilt!

13. I will not cry when the kids say, "I am bored!"
14. I will not find things for the kids to do when they cry, "I am bored!" Instead, I will let them wallow in their bored-ness in the hope that their little minds will wander and their creativity will flourish. (Just not flourish enough to create a big honkin' mess in the house or yard.)
15. I will not succumb to the kids' cries of desperation by turning on the boob tube. It will stay off!! (except of course for my dvr'ed episodes of Glee and Modern Family . . .)


16. I will not cry when I see my kiddies grow up before my eyes.
17. I will not put a brick on Abbie's head in order to stop her from growing (like a weed I might add) into a young lady, despite the fact that I am not quite ready for it.
18. I will not put a leash on Ellerie to restrain her energy despite the fact that her zeal for life zaps the energy from my life.
19. I will not put a piece of tape over Ethan's mouth in order to acquire a moment of silence in my crazy day. I will instead try to listen to all of E's 6 year old theories and appreciate each and every one of them (to the best of my ability and my sanity).

20. I will not take any day for granted this summer. I will appreciate each and every day that I get to spend with my kids, hubs, and extended family. . .

. . . even if it kills me . . .


*****************This post was a variation response to one of Mama Kat's writer's prompts this week, the 30 Things You Will Do This Summer. Hop on over to see her and check out some other great responses. *************************

I Look Like Who??? Really???

Recently, on Facebook, many people were posting a celebrity-look-alike pictures instead of their regular profile pictures. One friend compared himself to Spongebob (strangely accurate), while another friend compared himself to Brad Pitt (soooooo not even close).

And, one old highschool girlfriend fancied herself to be another Heidi Klum (Can you say rose-colored glasses?).

Obviously, this provoked many laughs.

Many.

But, it also got me thinking. What celebrity would I pick for my look alike?

Would I go for funny and pick someone waaaaa -ayyyyy out there? Someone like. . . um . . . Spock?

Umm. . . short hair. Check.
Pointy sideburns. Check.

Hmmmm.

Emotionless expression?
Nope.

Spock was definitely not me!

Or would I go with someone that other people had actually (flatteringly, really) compared me to before? Someone like Alyssa Milano?

Naaaahhhh.

I didn't see it.

I obviously needed help.

I turned to MyHeritage.com. This site is dedicated to helping a person determine his or her heritage legitimately, but they also have a fun page that uses face recognition technology to determine which celebrity actually looks like you.

How cool is that?

So, unafraid, I downloaded my profile picture and this is what I got.

OK.

So, I am more than OK with Cate Blanchett, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Ashley Judd as my celebrity look alikes.(And really, who wouldn't be?) These are all very beautiful ladies, and frankly, it was super flattering for my ego to be compared to them.

But, Hillary Rodham Clinton? And Mrs. Brady?!? Really?

In what alternate universe do Ashley Judd and Hillary Clinton resemble each other? And lord help me if my hair resembles Mrs. Brady's famous mullet. If that is the case, I will forgo my family's grocery bill this week to remedy the situation. Eating bread and water will be worth it.

Mrs. Brady?

Aaaaaaaah!

I guess it could be worse.

They could have compared me to Mr. Brady.

************Special thanks to Jenners at Life with a Little One and More for the Inspiration for this post. You should go check out her post about celebrity look alikes. Bring your Depends. You will need them.*****************************

I Yell. Suck It Up.

I'm a yeller.

My high pitched voice can often be heard calling things like, "Whose underwear are these right in the middle of the hallway?" Or maybe, "Do not squirt your sister!" as I call from the protection of the dining room.

I yell. I am OK with it. It's my style.

But recently, after picking Ethan up from a playdate, he posed this question on the ride home.

"Mom, did you know that there are moms that do not yell? Isn't that amazing?"

After wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, my response?

"Honey, I know that there are moms that do not yell. God just didn't happen to give you one of them."

Case closed.

I yell.

Suck it up.

So, give it up. Are you a lover or a fighter? Or a yeller?

Have You Ever . . .?

Have you ever . . .

-licked the spoon without even thinking about it after you have adminstered medicine to your child ?

-drank a cup of coffee after brushing your teeth and gagged at the combo of toothpaste, coffee, and vanilla creamer?

-wished there was an instant replay after something gets broken and "no one" did it?

No?

Hmmm.


Well how about, have you ever . . .

-spent 10 minutes looking for your car keys only to find them still in the car's ignition?

-lost the TV remote only to find it in the refrigerator?

-misplaced the cup of coffee you were drinking, made yourself another cup of coffee, and then found your 1st coffee cup in the bathroom linen closet?

No?

Seriously?!

Oh well.

What about have you ever . . .

-licked your thumb, smeared it on your dirty child's face, and then triumphantly declared the child to be "clean"?

-sniffed a suspicious piece of laundry in order to determine if it is "clean"?

-sniffed a child's diapered butt to determine if his diaper is "clean"?

Really?

Still no?!

Well then! Have you ever. . .

-shaved one of your armpits (or legs) twice leaving one armpit freshly shaven and one that resembles an unruly jungle of hair?

-gotten caught plucking your eyebrows in the car's vanity mirror while waiting to pick up your kiddies at school?

-farted in a public place and blamed one of your kiddies?

What?

You've never done any of these things?!?

No?

Really?!?

Never?

Really?!?

It must be just me.

*****This post was inspired by one of Mama Kat's writer's prompts.*********