Monday, June 21, 2010

Go to the Light Dora!

I have decided to do something drastic.

After a 1o hour car trip that took 14 hours . . .

and a beach rental that only has one TV . . .

I have decided.

Dora the Explorer must die.

Now, I have to admit. I did not come to this idea all by myself. I was inspired by one of the characters on the fabulous TV show, Modern Family. After a uncharacteristic stint as a stay-at-home dad, one of the characters admitted his secret desire to take out the Explorer, herself. He said, "I am plotting Dora's murder. I am going to fill that backpack with rocks and dump her in the river. " And as I laughed because I could soooooo totally identify, I began to consider the possibility. It wasn't until my recent road trip with the kiddies, however, that I plotted it in earnest.

Dora must die.

I figure I could send her on an adventure in which she will never come back. I can send her to find the great "white light". Along the way, Boots the Monkey can find his very own cement monkey shoes, and Swiper the Fox can get sideswiped by a Mack truck. The map can commit suicide after meeting Mr. GPS and discovering that he is now, in fact, completely useless. Finally, Dora and her backpack can sing "C'mon, Vamanos!" as they skip merrily into the light.

It would be a beautiful passing.


Too bad it's only a dream.

*****Any other characters need offing?? Let me know. I am probably your girl.********


  1. Maybe it could be a crossover episode with Diego and his sister, too. And they could take a trip to China and get Kai Lan to find the "white light" with them. ;)

  2. Not a character, but do you know a guy who can stop that Taylor Swift song about the girl who is trying to steal the cheerleader's boyfriend... If they will just stop playing it. OHMAGOSH

  3. Thank goodness those days are long gone around here!

  4. ok, so Emily loved dora... Alyssa is starting to like dora. Emily lets her watch it all the time... the funny part is when dora asks if you see wherever it is she is supposed to go next, Will says, "It's right behind you, stupid!" Makes me laugh every time....

  5. How about the Dora Pirate Adventure? I have found myself wishing she was lost at sea!

  6. If they could take Caillou with them, that'd be fabulous. That whiny brat needs a preemptive beating before being allowed to hit the toilet in the morning.


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