Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Fowl Day

There was a bird inside my house today.

An outside bird.


My house.

I am beginning to think that I live in the Wild Kingdom. (Remember the squirrel from awhile back? If you are new, you need to click that link to read about him. Seriously. You do.)

Anyhow, I was puttering around in the remodeling zone that is my kitchen when I heard the sound.

"Tweet! Tweet! TWEETY TWEET TWEET!!"

At first, I actually thought, "Wow! What a pretty spring song!" Then, I realized that the melody was loud. Really loud. Entirely too loud for me to be hearing with such clarity when the windows to my house were shut.

I consulted help for fear I was officially going crazy and hearing tweeting in my head. "Ab? Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" she answered. Typical kid!

"Tweet! Tweet! TWEETY TWEET TWEET!!" chirped the bird, and I replied to Ab, "THAT! Do you hear that bird?"

She got up from her seat, joined me in the kitchen and strained her ear. "Yep, mom. It's definitely a bird, so what?"

"So???? It's in the house somewhere! That's what!"

And with that, I went off in search of the tweeter armed and ready. I was carrying an upside broom and a flyswatter. That's right. I made weapons out of my cleaning tools. I am good like that.

I followed that tweet and soon I was led to the basement where there he sat. Right outside my laundry room door. Looking at me.

I'll admit. I didn't have a clue about what to do in this situation. I mean, really, this wasn't exactly in the job description. And, I knew that I did not have Cinderella's charms to coax tweety into making me a fabulous formal gown, so I just had to, ahem, wing it. ( I know. I know. That was bad. I just couldn't resist.)

With broom aloft, I charged!

Unafraid, tweety charged right back wings flapping furiously.

And, my friends, I will tell you with all honesty that that flapping got to me. Got. to. me. The noise of those flaps, and also the sight of it gave me a case of the willies so bad that I ran, screaming, up the steps two at a time and slammed the basement door.

Clearly, I needed to reformulate my plan, I thought as I leaned and panted against the basement door. Then, I caught sight of my daughter.

"Ab! Stop laughing!!! Get up and run and get me a towel!!" I ordered. Bless her little heart, even though her sides were probably aching from laughter, she fetched me a towel, and I went back to battle.

With towel in hand, I cautiously opened the basement door.


I slammed the door again.

Yes. That's right. That tweeter followed me up the stairs and was now perched on the top step just beyond the door. Tweeter!

So, I did the only thing that I could. I took him by surprise. I flung the door open, threw the towel over him, scooped him up, and ran out the door. Once on my deck, I dropped the towel and the tweeter escaped to the skies.

He was free!

But, more importantly, I was free of a wild animal in my home.

That is, my house is free of wild animals if you do not include my kiddies or hubs, but that, of course is a post for another day.

Just call me the bird whisperer.


  1. oh god....that sounds like such an ordeal....hilarious....but so glad he's free to fly the wild blue yonder again!.....can't imagine!

    Hey, I'm looking for nominees for my 2nd Annual Mommy Blogger of the Year Contest....Would you mind coming by and Nominating your Fave Mommy Blogger?

  2. Oh my gosh!!!!! That is so funny. I'm home sick today and that story really gave me a good laugh. That bird was not playing around, charging right at you and you turned out to be the chicken. Great post.

  3. you are brave! that is hilarious. I'm with Abs.... I'd be on the floor laughing at that sight!

  4. Annie, you ARE brave! I love animals, but I think I'd have been a bit did a great job and I'm glad he's no longer in your house.

    Thank you so much for nominating me for Top Mommy Blog....I am so flattered and touched and surprised! Mary The Mommyologist came over to tell I went and saw. You are a gem. I appreciate it and there are far more bloggers more deserving than I, but I feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you think I deserved to be nominated!


    HUGS & Happy Friday to you!


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