Monday, May 17, 2010

Annie . . . Phone Home

Dear Verizon,

It has become clear to me that during our 6 years together, our relationship has been rather one-sided. A normal relationship consists of a mutual give and take. Unfortunately though, I give, give, give you my money and you take, take, take it. In order for our relationship to continue, you need to give me the following items . . .

1.) A working phone. Simple enough concept. If you want me to continue to give you money to use your phone, then the phone MUST work. Silly. I know. Phones that lose their signal, phones that die after being dropped from my purse, phones that can not withstand the grubby fingers of a two year old, or phones refuse to ring are not acceptable.

2.) Good customer service. This does not include being put on hold for extended lengths of time only to be connected with a computer automated voice. This does not include "helping" me by connecting me with someone that does not speak English. This does not include offering to "upgrade" my service instead of properly fixing the service I already pay for. This does include answering my questions patiently and with courtesy. This does include speaking with me without rolling your eyes, sighing, or sneaking in a snarky comment. And, if I am actually in your store seeking help and you offer my kids a lollipop bribe so that we can finish our transaction, I will probably swoon with delight. Just sayin'.

3.) A contract that does not require me to sign over my first born child - or - cut off an appendage -or- mortgage my house to pay it in full each month. Enough said.

4.) The option to have an iphone. Yes. I know that currently ATT and Apple are in cahoots. And, yes. I know that you have the Blackberry and other gadgets. But, let me say this loud and clear, your gadgets and apps ARE NOT IN THE SAME LEAGUE with the iphone. My phone with a touch screen might as well be singing MC Hammer's Can't Touch This. The screen is like a leper colony. Seriously. It does not compare despite what your salesman pitched.

5.) Valid phone insurance. After kid number 2 flushed one of my phones, you offered me "insurance" for my phone. For 5 dollars a month for the life of the two year contract, I could get insurance on my phone. When I asked if that meant I would get a replacement for free, you said no. The replacement would be only $50. So, let me get this straight. If I pay you for 24 months, $5, for a total of $120.00, then I can purchase a phone for $50? I may not be a mathematician, but isn't that $170 for a replacement phone? Really?? This is insurance?? I guess I really want to know how many people take you up on that offer.

So, dear Verizon, do you think that you will be able to give me what I need? If not, I just may be reaching out to touch ATT the next time.

Your customer,


  1. Just give in! You need an iphone and you need it bad. Got one for Christmas and haven't seen my children since. Oh wait, yes, there are pictures of them on my phone so I see them that way. But it is just plain awesome!! Go for it! Get your iPhone.

  2. Dear Annie,

    We are sorry.

    All our bloggers are currently serving other bloggers.

    Your blog is important to us.

    Please continue to post your concerns.

    We will get to your blog in the order that it was written.


  3. I am cracking up at Bossy Betty's comment!
    And I am right there with you, but I have Sprint, which isn't any better.

    I hate when I call customer service that no one speaks English. I also hate that when I go to the Sprint store (since nothing can be accomplished by phone), that I have to wait 3 hours for someone to help me with something that is typically resolved in a matter of minutes.

  4. So Funny! I like my Blackberry Storm but, I have IPhone envy. Hoping that Verizon's Iphone equivalent comes out strong if not I may be joining you at ATT.

  5. Annie,

    I got the Verizon because you kids told me to and I counted the days until the contract was up. I have had my I Phone over a year and am back to ATT and I am SOOOOOOO happy. I could never get service on my own street with Verizon because our development was a black out zone. No problem with ATT. We bundled everything computer, cable, phone and the cost is only $5 more @ month and I get a camera.

    Love Mom

  6. Be careful by jumping and switching...... I have several family/friends who have iphones and complain just as much regarding service and issues. They ended up switching back to you won't be able to have unlimited calls with your sister if you switch!

  7. Stopping by from SITS and I totally agree {but haven't had my phone flushed down the potty...yet!}. I have Verizon but I desperately want an iphone!

    Love your blog design. I'm now a follower!


  8. Oh I like all of that. We don't have an option where I live, Verizon is the only one that I can get service with here. I hate my phone too. I wish it could stand going to scout camp, hiking, canoeing and live. My daycare little ones are forever seeing what's on it or if it rings trying to answer it without breaking that lid off. That insurance is a farce. I killed my last phone by taking a dip with it and to replace my phone with the insurance it cost me $130.00. I don't know, if they want us to have phones and all you'd think they'd be nice to us.
    Thanks for sharing. I love you poem, and the look of your blog. Great job.
    Take care and have a blessed day.


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