Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Something STILL is Missing!

I am joining up with Lee over at Headaches, Hormones, and Hotflashes today. She is talking about her hubs and I found this gem in the vault that I thought would fit perfectly.

Afterall, I love hubs dearly, but let's face it, there are times when he drives me crazy.

I am fairly certain that the feeling is mutual.

Smooches hub!

Something Missing (originally posted 4/8/09)

Ever hear of the missing link?

Well, I think that the missing link is missing from my husband's head.

It seems that we have the same conversation over and over and over again. Either hubby is getting selective Alzheimer's disease, or this repeat discussion is just some elaborate practical joke on me. I wouldn't put it past him. He does sooooo love a good laugh, and fortunately for him, I frequently provide him with great material. I mean, who wouldn't love to poke fun at a wife that consistently burns the garlic bread each and every time that she makes it? Or what about a vain wife that wears heels that are "too cute" despite the fact that they give her huge weeping blisters? Seriously, I deserve to be made fun of . . . at times . . . but this ongoing conversation is just a bit too much.

"Annie? Hon? Where is the parmesan cheese?"

During this installment of the discussion, I was perched comfortably in our rocker in the living room. Before I answered, I crept out of the chair slowly and peeked around the corner of the kitchen to see what he was doing. Hubby was standing, staring, mouth a bit agape at the open kitchen cabinet. His hand was holding the door ajar, but he was not moving. Just standing. Staring.

Finally I answered with a question, "Paul? Have you looked for the cheese?" I already knew what the answer would be.

"Yes! I am looking right now." Except he wasn't. I was spying on him, and I had caught him, not looking, just staring at an open cupboard. I tried my sarcastically, sappy voice next.

"Hon . . . have you moved things around or are you just staring at the open cabinet?"

He instantly flushed red, realizing that I had him. "Well . . . no . . ."

I calmly emerged from around the corner, walked over to the cabinet, moved exactly one item, and voila! parmesan cheese.

Then I just looked at him. Sheepishly, he said, "I know. I know. You think that I didn't look."

And that's the conversation we dance around. If it is not parmesan cheese, it is his blue school shirt. (Never mind that he has probably 50 navy blue school sport shirts. He needs one particular blue shirt, one that feels different.) If it's not an item of clothing, it is the broom. If it is not the broom, it is the nail clippers. If it is not the clippers, it is some random tool. You get the idea. It is always something, and I could go on and on and on.

It makes me wonder if my hubby is just search deficient, or is it men in general?



And, in case this is not enough for you to ponder about, I will pose my next quandary.

How is it possible for hubby to find a particular bowl or pot to use in the kitchen, but then, when the time arrives for the said bowl or pot to be put away, he mysteriously develops amnesia and "forgets" where it should go? His mental deficit apparently applies to looking for an item, and finding a location for an item. I can not count how many times I have uttered the words, "If you know where it is to use it, why can't you find the place to put it away?" as I put away a random stack of pans and dishes that are teetering precariously on the edge of the counter top. The stack that is obviously leftover after Paul has unloaded the dishwasher. The stack that he claims that he "doesn't know where they go!"

It has to be a joke. If not, I am sure to have this conversation many more times . . .
especially when hubby is diagnosed with dementia down the road.

If I'm lucky, I'll be diagnosed too.

That way, I'll forget why I am angry.


  1. I am cracking up. At least he opens the cabinet. That's progress!

  2. Oh so funny and Soooooooooooooo true! Yes, my husband is the exact same way, it's like they have never figured out how to look for something unless its sex Lol!!

    If the sweater my husband wants isn't on the top of the stack of neatly folded sweaters, he can't find it. It's hard enough to just open the drawer I guess :)

    Thanks for linking this little gem up with us, I loved it!!!!!

  3. That is really funny! My husband is pretty good about finding food items, but terrible at putting anything away. I am pretty sure I could count on one hand the number of times he unloaded the dishwasher (possibly one finger). But he does cook, so I can't complain too much!

  4. Do you ever wonder what how they would survive without us telling them where things are? Mine would probably end up with 4 or 5 containers of cheese before he realized it simply because he would think he was out and go buy more.

  5. WOW, I feel I am not about this one, opening the cabinet looking where the bowls are...that happens often...we have lived in this house 4 years HELLO HELLO anyone home!

  6. It's the deficient man gene. Or they are under the mistaken impression we want to feel needed or that this endears them to us....holy crow...if I wanted a kid it wouldn't be 6'2 and hairy and wrinkly from the get-go......

  7. it is the opposite with us. I am the one always looking for things (though actually looking & usually tearing house apart in the process) while hubs gets all frustrated w/ me...LOL!

  8. Great post and a great topic! Since our daughter was born I have been suffering from severe momnesia and so I am the one who can never find things. The other night my husband found my cell phone on top of the trash can in the garage, how it got there I have no idea! Last weekend I put our camcorder on the tail gate of his truck for safekeeping after using it when we were outside playing with our daughter. Of course I forgot all about it and now it is gone forever, lost on the road somewhere between here and my husband's office when he drove off to work on the Monday morning.

  9. My husband and my oldest both do that. That can't find something even if it's right in front to them. Me? I can find something in right away even if it's buried. I think it's a guy thing.

  10. I soooo know how you feel! My hubs is the exact same way. Last week I screamed at him, "I do NOT have a GPS tracker on every item in this house!" LOL

  11. LISTEN, girl... OMG. When I say that you are married to my husband, I am not kidding. It's all about whether or not he WANTS to find it. I think they LOVE feeling helpless? Or, just don't care. I am THRILLED beyond THRILLED I came across your site!!! Sooo excited!!! I will be following from here on out. I love your blog title, as well. Clever, clever!

  12. Hahaha oh no. I suffer from the same disorder your husband has and then your part in the situation is played by my husband.

    One day I hope to use jedi mind tricks to move things in the cabinet just by looking at them. So I'm just practicing until that time comes. :)

  13. LOL! I think it's selective so he won't get asked again to put things away. At least that's the act my husband and kids try on me...

  14. HA! My husband has the same inability to recall from which cabinet he removed an item when it's time to put said item away. I don't know how he managed to clean up after himself when he had his own apartment before we married.

    It's got to be sex linked. Primo and Secondus both exhibit the same behaviours. Both of them can be staring right at some "missing" item with blank looks claiming they can't find it.


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