Corny Moments

When I came in, it was already chaos.

E and hubby were jumping around the living room, Wii remotes in hand, shouting.  Now, this, mind you, is a pretty normal sight.  It's what they were shouting that caught my attention.

"That dog will hunt!"  shouted Paul.

"It's outta there, dad!"  E chimed in.

And not one minute later hubby let out, "Can of Cooooooorrrrrnnnn!  That's a can o' corn, big boy!"

And then, "Daa-aaad!  That's not a can of corn!"

Laughing and shaking his head Paul boasted, "Oh yes it is!  Your gonna have to bring the big guns to play with your dad!"

Now, because of the context of the situation,  I could tell that this was a lesson in talking smack between father and son.  A priceless, hallmark-like moment, obviously.  A moment that if viewed as a commercial during the Super Bowl would bring grown men to tears. So, I was not perplexed by the banter between my men, and I could appreciate its importance as a father and son rite of passage.  What perplexed me was their vernacular.  They were speaking man-speak, and I had to ask for some help.

"Paw- wal?"  I shouted, extending his name.

"What?"

"Honey, what's a can of corn?" I questioned.

He paused and scanned my face to check my intent.  "Well . . . a can of corn is . . . a can of corn."

''Thank you for that," I bantered sarcastically, "but, can you give me a little more explanation ?  Is it a Nortonism?"  I asked making reference to his one-stop-light home town.

Offended he countered, "Nooooo.  It is not a Norton word.  It is a baseball word.  You played.  You should know it.  C'mon.  Caaann of ca- orn?!?"  as if saying it again, slowly, would help my comprehension.

I paused, trying not to strangle him, and said, "Paul, I have never heard of 'can of corn'.  I am not making this up.  Gimme a break."

He softened a bit and said, "Well, a can of corn is  . . . an easy catch.  Simple."

But it wasn't that simple to me.  "Well, why not a can of franks and beans?  That's simple.  You just open it up and heat it.  Same as corn."  It made perfect sense.

"An- nie!"  he stated.  I could tell that he was exasperated with my questions.  "Can of corn is an easy catch.  I don't know why.  It just is.  Google it if you want to know why," and with that, he was done explaining.  There would be no further lessons for me on man-speak that day.

So, I did what he suggested.  I googled 'can of corn/ baseball'.  Apparently the phrase originated with general stores.  In the general store, the canned veggies were stocked behind the cash register. When a customer wanted to purchase one, he would make his request to the shop keeper and  the shop keeper would  gently lob the can to the waiting customer.  An easy catch.  Now it made sense. 

So a google search had saved the day and possibly my marriage (for that day.)  If only all man-speak translations could be solved that easily.  It'd be a can of corn.

Or at least franks and beans.