Monday, April 12, 2010

I Never Thought I Would . . .

Things that I never imagined that I would do . . until I had kids . . .

1. Sing "Pee Pee on the Pot - ty!" while dancing around to celebrate my child's urinary success.

2. The above . . . while in public.

3. Wear Dora the Explorer band-aids on my nipples to signify that my boobs were "broken" and no longer working and nursing boobs.

4. Accept (and eat) a half-licked sucker in order to avoid having it stuck in my toddler's hair, or worse, my own.

5. Change a poopy diaper in an airplane bathroom.

6. Squirt hand sanitizer on a sketchy looking table at a restaurant rather than take the chance of having one of my kids lick a dirty table and then come down with some hideous virus.

7. Pray (literally) that my kiddies don't get sick before the last set of puked on sheets gets clean in the washer and dryer.

8. Use a sanitary napkin as a makeshift diaper (because we had run out) while I high tailed it to the drugstore to replenish the supplies.

9. Defer a paticularly pointed question about the birds and the bees until my husband gets home so that he may serve as back up (or at least share in the humiliation with me).

10. Make up stories about how Santa doesn't deliver animals at Christmas for the sheer fact that I can not handle a dog and a toddler at the same time.

11. Watch the Disney channel.

12. Sing Hannah Montana songs.

13. Have Mama Mia as my ring tone.

14. Drive a minivan. (By the way, I still hate driving it, but it is sooooo darn practical.)

15. Forgo buying the latest cute shoes so that my kid can wear pants that are not up to his ankles.

16. Enjoy a Tball game.

17. Laugh until I pee my pants.

18. Eat ice cream in the middle of the day, just because.

19. Lay on the back deck and watch the clouds pass by over head and be perfectly content.

20. Say the words, "If I catch you picking your nose and eating it one more time . . ."

So, what have you done that you never thought that you would? Hmmm? Let me know that I am not alone in my craziness!


  1. Oh, sorry. I haven't done anything that crazy - guess you're all alone!

    hahahaha, yeah, right! I just wrote a very similar blog post. I never thought I would be able to swap spit with a baby - whether its via an utensil, or straight from the salivator herself...but I love it. The sloppy kisses are the best!

  2. Ahem...right there with you sistah!

    1. Take a booger from my child with my bare hand in the car while driving so that it didn't get "wiped" elsewhere.

    2. Ate Mac & Cheese as if it were the best meal ever because one of my kids made it.

    3. Slept in the most ackward of positions knowing I would be HURTING in the morning because I didn't want to wake the sick kid lying next to me.

    Need I go on? LOL

  3. Annie - I have done ALL of the above. never thought it would be me. So funny though. Hmm . . what can I add?

    I never thought I would have to tell my daughter not to try and smell her brother's poop.




  4. Never thought I'd have to tell my daughter to stop talking about her vagina in public. LOL. great list, annie! I have done most of these myself (and did you know I also drive a minivan? it is soooo practical, you are right)

  5. lololol I loved the Dora band aids. Priceless!

  6. I can sooo relate to #14. Dodge Caravan baby!

    I never thought I'd be the mom in the boys dressing room saying "Let me see if those pants fit. And then checking, ugh so like my mother. :)

  7. I feel your pain, you are not alone in this craziness. Giving up cute shoes so they could have clothes was pretty easy. However, the NO BARNEY rule going out the window was super hard on this Mom.

  8. I love your "broken nipples" idea. I'll have to pass that one along to my DIL.


  9. Yell, "Aim that thing!" when walking down the hall past the open bathroom door.

    Resign myself to the fact that what I thought were "female products" are in fact wall decorations, furniture bumpers, and body art.

    Tell Primo (in public) that nose picking is a bathroom only activity.

    I was quite delighted to discover that your offspring also adorn your walls with pantyliners and permanent marker. Misery loves company, you know!


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