I Never Thought I Would . . .

Things that I never imagined that I would do . . until I had kids . . .

1. Sing "Pee Pee on the Pot - ty!" while dancing around to celebrate my child's urinary success.

2. The above . . . while in public.

3. Wear Dora the Explorer band-aids on my nipples to signify that my boobs were "broken" and no longer working and nursing boobs.

4. Accept (and eat) a half-licked sucker in order to avoid having it stuck in my toddler's hair, or worse, my own.

5. Change a poopy diaper in an airplane bathroom.

6. Squirt hand sanitizer on a sketchy looking table at a restaurant rather than take the chance of having one of my kids lick a dirty table and then come down with some hideous virus.

7. Pray (literally) that my kiddies don't get sick before the last set of puked on sheets gets clean in the washer and dryer.

8. Use a sanitary napkin as a makeshift diaper (because we had run out) while I high tailed it to the drugstore to replenish the supplies.

9. Defer a paticularly pointed question about the birds and the bees until my husband gets home so that he may serve as back up (or at least share in the humiliation with me).

10. Make up stories about how Santa doesn't deliver animals at Christmas for the sheer fact that I can not handle a dog and a toddler at the same time.

11. Watch the Disney channel.

12. Sing Hannah Montana songs.

13. Have Mama Mia as my ring tone.

14. Drive a minivan. (By the way, I still hate driving it, but it is sooooo darn practical.)

15. Forgo buying the latest cute shoes so that my kid can wear pants that are not up to his ankles.

16. Enjoy a Tball game.

17. Laugh until I pee my pants.

18. Eat ice cream in the middle of the day, just because.

19. Lay on the back deck and watch the clouds pass by over head and be perfectly content.

20. Say the words, "If I catch you picking your nose and eating it one more time . . ."


So, what have you done that you never thought that you would? Hmmm? Let me know that I am not alone in my craziness!