Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wishing That Time Would Stand Still Sometimes . . .

This week Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompted bloggers to write about a moment that you realized your child was growing up.  I wrote this post almost a year ago as Abbie approached her 9th birthday, and now that her 10th birthday is just days away, I am feeling these same bittersweet feelings.


Abbie getting a feather put in her hair.  Definitely a tween in the making.
 Her Days Are Numbered . . . originally posted 8/23/10

"What do you think of this?" Ab asked as she walked into my bedroom. For the last hour, she had been trying on clothes from her closet and mine. Her fashionista vibe was in full force, and she was creating some very interesting outfits to prepare for the new school year. I was more than a little worried that I would have to veto her latest creation, so I cautiously emerged from my closet to take a look.


I was not prepared for what I saw.

There was my Ab, my little girl, looking very much like a young lady. She was wearing my black and white graphic short dress, except on her, it came down to her knees. Ab combined the dress with black leggings, and in her short cropped blonde bob, she sported a white headband. She topped off her ensemble with red sandals that let her cute painted toes peak out from underneath their straps. It was a great outfit.

"Mom?" she questioned, breaking me from my daze. "Well, what do you think? " she asked as she did a giddy little twirl. I could tell that she was happy with herself and with her look. She radiated her confidence.

And it hit me.

She was so beautiful. . . and . . . she wasn't a little girl any longer.

Oh, my brain knew that she still liked to snuggle with me before bed, and that she still enjoyed playing with her Littlest Pet Shop animals for hours on end, but my heart knew that that twirl and that confidence marked a turn for Ab down the road towards being a big girl, a young lady. Abbie was growing up, right before my eyes, and apparently I was not ready for it. Not at all.

"Oh Ab," I sighed, "You look beautiful." I felt like my words were choking me, as I fought back my tears.

Ab smiled, then responded, "Mom? Are you crying?" She came over and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

We were almost the same height.

I smiled through my tears and answered honestly, "Yes. I am. I'm your mom and I am allowed to cry. Now, if you would please go in your room and stop growing, I will stay here and stop crying."

She rolled her eyes at me, gave me a squeeze, and said, "Mom, you are so weird sometimes." And, with that, she skipped back into her bedroom.

And I watched her. Intently.

Acutely aware of how blessed I am to be a part of her growth . . .

And acutely aware of how my days of having a little girl are numbered.

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, they sure do grow up fast. Too fast for me. My boy is walking and talking, but it seems like yesterday that I was cuddling him in that hospital bed. Amazing.

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  2. I have a picture of my five year-old in which she looks fifteen. I don't know if it's the lighting, the hairdo, or what but you look at that picture and you can see what she will look like as a teenager. And I cry each time I look at it, so I hid it :)

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  3. Such a great post! I felt it. I'm not looking forward to the days where my boys aren't boys anymore. I want them to stay little forever...even though they drive me nuts.

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  4. Thanks for bringing tears to MY eyes ... seriously ... IRL ... can we be friends?

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  5. Whew! That was a doozy for my mommy heart, too! I am willing my babies to be little, but in spite of my efforts, they keep growing!

    Visiting from Mama Kat's :)

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  6. And it just gets harder and harder...

    But I think no matter what they still have their little girl moments.

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  7. Oh, so beautiful, and SO difficult, this parenting thing! She's a lovely girl.

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  8. My daughter turned 12 on July 14th.

    I feel this post. In the core of me.

    Lovely. And terrifying.

    Kind of like being a mom.

    Yes.

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