Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Answers I Wish I Said Out Loud

"Mom? Why are we using paper plates?"

Because I can not stand the sight of another dirty plate.

"Mom? Why are we eating the long noodles and not the twisty ones?"

Because I am an idiot and forgot about the fact that long noodles= slurping spaghetti = a hot, saucy mess.

"Mom? I think that the dog likes my black beans and rice!"

Seriously? I will spit twice and crawl under my blankie to hide if that dog gets the black bean runs.

"Mom? I helped you! I painted my own closet with the leftover paint!

Sweet Mary mother of God . . . did Jesus ever do this to you?

"Mom?  I just watched the dog poop on the floor!"

Really?  You watched him?  Why didn't you STOP him?

"Mom?  I don't think that I have taken a bath in a week."

Oh lord . . . I hope no one has called children services because my kid smells.

"Mom? Why is the bathroom door locked?"

Because I am trying to believe that Calgon can really truly take me away.

"Mom?  I love you."

"Me too kid.  Me too."

This time I answer loud and clear.


  1. So funny, because it's true! Sometimes I want to have the Roseanne moment - kids (yelling) - MOM! Roseanne - She's not here!

  2. Sounds like you have a joyful handful. :)

  3. And, then, comes the time when they say, "Remember when I said...," and you both laugh...

  4. So good! Especially the part about the bathroom door being locked. I never do that because it drives me absolutely nuts when my kids knock nonstop on the door and yell for me to come out.

    I always love your posts. :)

  5. Every time my kids ask me something, I try to make up a creative answer. Its fun for me and makes them stop.

  6. This is a great idea for a post. As moms, there really is a LOT we don't say isn't there!

  7. Sounds a lot like my house. My kids are my biggest joy. But there are days when they are my biggest aggravation! I believe my mother cursed me when she said "Someday I hope you have a kid that acts just like you"! And here I am with 3 kids that are just like me!

  8. I love love love inner monologuing ... it's my life ... except when it slips out.

  9. I live for sarcasm so unfortunately I say way too many of those things out loud. And yes this has totally backfired on me as both my girls love to get in the sarcastic comment.

  10. That Calgon can truly take me away - HA! I love it.

    Yeah, I wish I could say a lot of my inner thoughts aloud. If only they weren't so expletive-ridden.

  11. See, my problem is that I actually do say those things outloud when they really should stay in my head.

    Loved your inner dialogue...esp the one about the dog pooping on the floor! Don't you just want to scream out, "Really?! Really?!"


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