Not Me! Memorial Day

It is Monday again, and this Monday did not start as a usual Monday.  Because of Memorial Day, there was no evil alarm clock, no rushing to brush knotty hair, and no gulped down toast on the way out of the door.  Instead, I had leisurely coffee with yummy french vanilla creamer, I read the entire newspaper, and I ate a whole wheat English muffin with melted butter. (Do not even talk to me about margarine!  Fake fat?!  I mean, seriously, if I am going to consume fat, it is going to be the good stuff.  Full fat.  Full flavor!  Yum!)  The kiddies slept until 9 am and hubby went golfing in the early am hours, so the house was quiet and comatose.  A beautiful morning all in all, and a great preview of the summer mornings to come.

Bring it on, I say.

I am ready!

Like most Mondays, I will divulge my secrets to you in the form of a Not Me! Monday, a posting idea made famous by the fabulous blogger MckMama.  A Not Me!  Monday is the one day of the week where you are brutally honest with yourself in the hopes that you can fend off a trip to the psychiatrist's office.  Purging the craziness allows for a fresh outlook for the upcoming insanity of the week.  With that said . . .

Onto my free therapy . . .

It was not me that on E's last day of preschool was running late to pick him up.  I would certainly have allowed enough time for a decent shower after my trip to the gym.  I would not have hurriedly threw clothes on, ignoring the fact that my shorts were a bit snug.  It also couldn't have been me that after running into E's school building and gathering a few looks from other on-time mommies, noticed that the reason my shorts were snug was that a stray pair of my black lacy underwear had hitch hiked a ride inside my short's leg.  It also could not have been me that was mortified that the stow away undies said in bright pink on its band, "Victoria's Secret PINK!"  Ridiculous!  I would never suffer from static cling, nor do I  worry about what other mommies think of my undies.  That would be a waste of my time, don't you think?

It was also not me that served my kiddies macaroni and cheese three times last week.  I would recognize that macaroni and cheese is not an every day meal, but a sometimes meal.  I also would not have been caught eating the said macaroni and cheese out of the pan with a serving spoon.  I know that I am supposed to be watching my calories, not watching my calories grow.

Clearly, it could not have been me that discovered when writing my bills that I had no more checks.  I would have been more fiscally responsible and ordered my checks weeks ago when I noticed that they were becoming scarce.  I would not have spent close to $40 to rush order more checks so that I could pay my bills in a timely manner.  That would have been frivolous for me to do.  Silly!

It was also not me that found an extra book of checks in my secret hiding place for emergencies . . . three days later.

Finally, it could not have been me that did absolutely no laundry for 4 days straight just because  . . . well, just because the weather was so beautiful.  Clearly, a family's laundry is important.

But, . . .

it just can't be me that thinks that it isn't that important.

Oh well, off to the rest of my day!

Hi-ho!

My hubby and I are overachievers.

Currently, we are . . .

1) Trying to solve the water problem in the basement.  So far we have removed the floor, cleaned the water up, fixed the broken gutter that was the suspected culprit of the crime, and are investigating preventing water problems in the future.  

2.) Doing spring cleaning in the garage.  Hubby took a trip to the dump yesterday with a car load of junk, mostly broken down toys, leftover building materials, and general gahr - bahge.  Purging (junk that is) is one of my favorite things to do.  The kiddies know that if they leave their toys out, they will either be donated to Goodwill, trashed (if they are broken or unsafe), or sucked up by the vacuum if they are small enough to fit through the cleaner hose.  No questions asked. I am evil in that way.  It's OK though.  I am good with it.

3.) Laying new floor in Ab's room.  The project is 98 percent complete, despite some very colorful language from hubby.   We reused the leftover good flooring from the basement, so, no cost.  Just labor.  Very time consuming and cursing inducing labor.  It's a good thing that the weather has been so nice, the kiddies were outside to miss most of it.  We actually may have to invent a new language to express our dissatisfaction in front of the kiddies.  Something along the lines of, "Holy Sch-nikes!" a la Tommy Boy or maybe, "Son of a motherless goat."  Somehow, those don't seem to express quite the same sentiment.

4.) Working on the kitchen remodel.  One section has no walls or flooring.  As I write, hubby is drilling into the wall to locate the electrical wires to do some rewiring.  Unfortunately, I just heard an, "Uh oh."  An uttered, uh- oh, usually means, hire a professional, and in this case, hubby just drilled through an electrical wire.  Fortunately, I have experience in this area (uh-oh's not electricity), and I have my electrician's number programmed into my cell phone for just this reason.

5.) And, if these projects are not enough, I am in the midst of finishing painting the hallway.  This is not an easy task as the stairwell has 20 foot ceilings, and I will need to use the extension ladder.  Extension ladders plus three kiddies and a cat equals hire a baby sitter for my sanity.  She will be helping out later this week.

So the insanity of the week continues as I live in a disaster zone.  We overachievers don't mind though. We see past the drop cloths, construction dust, and rubbermaid tubs full of tools and supplies. Instead, we only see the end result in our minds.  And, the end result will be spectacular!

Too bad it will take the better part of the year to complete.

Sigh.

Hi-ho! Hi-ho!  Off to work we go.

Summer Teaser

We are experiencing true summer weather these last few days here in the midwest!

Absolutely beautiful . . .

Sun soaking . . .

Outdoor living . . .

Blue-sky, delicious weather . . .

And . . .

we are enjoying every single, solitary minute of it!

(P.S.  Can you believe that that is actually my rose bush?  And, that I haven't killed it with my brown thumb?  It is just one of my many every day miracles!)

Here's hoping you have a delicious day too!

It's Summertime

Ethan informed me yesterday that Friday was his last day of school.

"Isn't that great Mom?" he gushed.  "It's summertime!" he sang, complements of the High School Musical soundtrack.

I chuckled at his obvious enthusiasm and replied, "Yep E.  Mom is ready for summer!  No more waking up early to get to school."

And without skipping a beat, my little angel replied, "I know!  And you want to know the best part?"

"Sure,"  I answered.

"The best part is that I get to be home all day every day with you!" he answered sincerely.

Yes, dear boy, that is the best . . .

and the worst part, indeed.

Let the summer insanity (and the margaritas) start flowing.

Playing with Food

I have a million dollar idea.

I will share it with you as long as you promise not to steal it.  Promise?

OK.  There I feel better now.

My idea (and really, it is soooooo fabulous that I can't even stand it) is  . . .

to incorporate a playroom into your local grocery store.

Ingenious, no?

I came upon this idea after trying to do my weekly grocery store run with all three of my kiddies in tow.  After I rescued El from almost doing a header out of the cart's seat. After I had said to E for the 107th time, "Don't touch every piece of produce!" After I sounded like a broken record saying, "No.  You don't need that.  You want that,"  or "If sugar is first on the label, forget about it!"  After all of that, it occurred to me how pleasant grocery shopping could be if, and only if, the kiddies weren't there.

And the idea was born.

What if upon entering your local grocery store, you first stopped at their well equipped playroom?  You could check your kiddies in safe with the knowledge that a) they would be no where near you and could no longer sneak goodies into your cart and b)  you could shop at a leisurely pace instead of having to run up and down the aisles to keep little hands from grabbing items and to stem the inevitable meltdown that a too long grocery trip triggers.  Wonderful, right?  The kiddies would be happy too.  No longer would they have to deal with a grumpy, snapping mom.  They could instead play on the play equipment, organize a mean game of house, or just generally run amok.  Happy mom equals happy kids equals win-win in my book.

To up the ante, just off of the playroom, the grocery store could have a swanky coffee bar.  Moms could drop off their kiddies, grab a cup of joe and actually, enjoy grocery shopping. Then, moms could linger a little longer in the produce, be able to ask the butcher questions, or even (gasp!) read labels.  I personally think that this extra time spent in the store would certainly translate to more money spent by the shopper which, in turn, would then translate into greater revenue for the grocery chain. But, that is just my opinion. 

And, after your shopping is complete, and you have made it through the checkout with no meltdowns, no extra chocolate bars snuck in the cart, and no extra buttons pushed on the credit card reader by messy little fingers, you could smile!  Your chore completed, you could pick up your happy, if exhausted (an added bonus) kiddies on your way out to your mom-mobile.  

It is genius, I tell you.  

I would even drive across town to visit a food chain if they had a playroom.  

Seriously.

May Blizzard

Since the weather has broken, I have been promising the kiddies that we will get ice cream one night after dinner.  One of our favorite summer ice cream stops is the local Dairy Queen. . .  and, now that E is five, he has declared himself old enough to eat a Dairy Queen blizzard.  

So, every day (and night) for the past few evenings, E has questioned, begged, and pleaded for his beloved blizzard.  

And, so far, every evening we have had something else to do, so, no blizzard for E.

Last night, while I was showering after working in the yard, E barged into the bathroom, closed the toilet lid, and parked himself comfortable. 

"Mom?"

Through the sound of water I answered a garbled, "Yes?"

"Mom, I am not going to ask you about Dairy Queen or a blizzard!"

I smiled.  I suspected that he was up to something.  "That's great E.  What's up?"

"Well.  I thought that I would sing you a song instead."

I waited and wondered just exactly what he was concocting.

"OK, Mom.  Here it is . . .  I loooooove blizzards.  Dad looooooves blizzards.  Sisters looooove blizzards, except for baby sisters who are allergic to peanuts!" he sing-songed heartily.

I immediately started to giggle at his attempt at persuasion, so I was unprepared for his last line of the melody.

"Even Jesus loooooooooves blizzards!"  He paused.  "That's it Mom.  I am done.  Did you like it?"

Seriously, how could I not like it?  It was a complete original, and I had to give him points for including Jesus, because, after all, Jesus was a man.  I suppose that he could have liked blizzards.

I just wonder if the Virgin Mary was ever disturbed while she bathed.

Picture Perfect

One of my girlfriends recently volunteered to take pictures of my kiddies.

After I stopped laughing, and realized that she was actually serious, I quickly took her up on her offer before she could change her mind.  

I mean, really, did she not witness El's frequent meltdowns in the line at Kroger?  The ones where she wiggles her body in a 360 degree maneuver to escape the cart's seat belt.  You know, those ones!  For that matter, has she not witnessed E on any given day when he has various goose eggs, scratches, and picked mosquito bites all over his little body?  He is quite often a walking scab.  Not pretty, my friends.  Not pretty!  Finally, has she not seen my darling fashionista, especially when she is trying to smile her model smile?  Interesting, to say the least.

Apparently, if she had witnessed any (or all) of these daily occurrences, she still wanted to preserve them on paper.   Or . . . maybe she just likes to laugh.

Anyway, the photo shoot went as most photo shoots do when three rambunctious children are involved.  It was crazy!  E was literally in a tree, El picked the heads off of the prized tulips in the garden, and thankfully, Ab helped me to chase the other two around.

We did get a few shots that were super, though.

This was shot while E was in the tree. ( My girlfriend is fantastic!)

And this one is a keeper!  It makes me fearful for the teen years down the road.  I mean, (eek!) she is only seven!  (By the way, when this was being taken, I was fishing El out of the gold fish pond.  And, no, I am not exaggerating.)

Here is one of El when she was being jovial.  Sweet, yes?  Notice the wooded background?  We were in a local garden, and she was, as usual, off the path . . . way off the path.

And here is one of El in her meltdown mode.  Notice my hand is holding her wrist so that she doesn't flail her whole body to the ground in dramatics.  I love, love, love this one, and someday she will hate, hate, hate it.  Tee hee!  

Finally, this is the best shot that my girlfriend could get of the three of them together.  No one is looking in the same direction, Ab has got a death grip on El, and E seems like he is just along for the ride.  I love it!  Those are my three to a T, sisters and brother, hanging on to each other. 

So, I would call this photo shoot a success.

And, as for my friend?

She survived . . .  

and, she is still a photographer. 

(**** Seriously, Kim!   You are the best.  I love you girl!  Thanks for the insanity.)