I Yell. Suck It Up.

I'm a yeller.

My high pitched voice can often be heard calling things like, "Whose underwear are these right in the middle of the hallway?" Or maybe, "Do not squirt your sister!" as I call from the protection of the dining room.

I yell. I am OK with it. It's my style.

But recently, after picking Ethan up from a playdate, he posed this question on the ride home.

"Mom, did you know that there are moms that do not yell? Isn't that amazing?"

After wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, my response?

"Honey, I know that there are moms that do not yell. God just didn't happen to give you one of them."

Case closed.

I yell.

Suck it up.

So, give it up. Are you a lover or a fighter? Or a yeller?

Have You Ever . . .?

Have you ever . . .

-licked the spoon without even thinking about it after you have adminstered medicine to your child ?

-drank a cup of coffee after brushing your teeth and gagged at the combo of toothpaste, coffee, and vanilla creamer?

-wished there was an instant replay after something gets broken and "no one" did it?

No?

Hmmm.


Well how about, have you ever . . .

-spent 10 minutes looking for your car keys only to find them still in the car's ignition?

-lost the TV remote only to find it in the refrigerator?

-misplaced the cup of coffee you were drinking, made yourself another cup of coffee, and then found your 1st coffee cup in the bathroom linen closet?

No?

Seriously?!

Oh well.

What about have you ever . . .

-licked your thumb, smeared it on your dirty child's face, and then triumphantly declared the child to be "clean"?

-sniffed a suspicious piece of laundry in order to determine if it is "clean"?

-sniffed a child's diapered butt to determine if his diaper is "clean"?

Really?

Still no?!

Well then! Have you ever. . .

-shaved one of your armpits (or legs) twice leaving one armpit freshly shaven and one that resembles an unruly jungle of hair?

-gotten caught plucking your eyebrows in the car's vanity mirror while waiting to pick up your kiddies at school?

-farted in a public place and blamed one of your kiddies?

What?

You've never done any of these things?!?

No?

Really?!?

Never?

Really?!?

It must be just me.

*****This post was inspired by one of Mama Kat's writer's prompts.*********

Stir Fry for Insanity Today

For today's reading pleasure, I have Tracie, from Stir Fry Awesomeness. (Is that a great blog name, or what?) She is one funny lady that blogs about anything and everything with snark, sarcasm, and humor. Needless, to say, I love, love, love her. And on a side note, sometimes Tracie's language is a little colorful, but I think that that just makes her all the more delicious!

Enjoy!!
________________________________________________________________

Have you ever been listening to someone yammer on so long that you get kicked out of your Happy Place for loitering?


Ever find yourself nodding your head and throwing in pithy encouragers - “Really?” “Umm. Hmm.” “I can’t believe it!”- because you have no idea what they are saying?


Do you know anyone who always has whacky stuff happen to her but she can’t tell anyone because it's too crazy or embarrassing?


Have you been cornered by a new mom who can’t shut up about her baby’s latest accomplishments. (Usually something like looking at his hand or making extra adorable poops.)


Friends, these people need to Get A Blog.


To my long suffering husband who needs to tell his side of the story and commiserate with like-minded sports fanatics and beer drinkers.




Get A Blog!




To my friend with the douchecanoe husband who has been cheating on her for 10 + years. Your stories would guarantee outrage and comment frenzy. If you don’t blog about him I will.




Get A Blog!




To my FB “friend” (I’m using quotes here because I only have a vague idea as to who this person is IRL.) who is infinitely amused by his own humor and has to post a new status update/promo for his book every 15 minutes. Some people might actually enjoy your bad puns and over use of exclamation points.




Get A Blog!




To my friend who loves to cook and goes into detail about every gourmet creation. Yes, you are wonderful. I’m on a diet.




Get A Blog!




To my MIL who is so involved in her favorite grandchild’s life (not my kids, of course) that she has to brag to the rest of the family about each hockey goal/soccer game/report card/nocturnal emission. I tuned you out 11 years ago.




Get A Blog!




Do you know anyone that needs to Get A Blog?
__________________________________________________________________

Now go Get A Blog and visit Tracie!

Help! I've Been Mommed . . .

In honor of all the times that I have found petrified french fries, melted crayons, and rancid sippy cups in my van (And . . . let's not forget about the time it took me so long to clean out my van that the battery died before I was done . . .), I give you this YouTube gem. Just click on the link below. (By the way, if any of you know how to download video . . . shoot me an email. Blogger wouldn't let me. Grrr! I have included a link instead.)

I know. I know. You can thank me later.

Mom My Ride - Sponsored by Zima

Classic!

So now I know what happened. Instead of having my ride pimped, I had it "mommed."

Who else has a "mommed"mobile??

The Spice of My Life

"Mom, did you ever have spicy eyes?" Ethan asked from the backseat while we were driving.

Spicy eyes? Where is he going with this I thought to myself. Did he mean itchy and red allergy eyes? Did he say "ice" and I misunderstood? While I pondered, he interrupted.

"Moooom!" he repeated loudly. "I asked if you ever had spicy eyes?"

"Well, E, I don't know what you are talking about, so," I paused. "I don't know if my eyes have ever been spicy."

I could see his exasperated expression in my rearview mirror as he tried to explain. "You know that show that was on TV that was talking about the police?"

"The news?" I asked.

"Yes! The news!" he paused, thought for a second and then started back into his explanation. "Well, it said the police used pepper spray. So, I wondered if you had ever had spicy eyes."

I chuckled.

"So, you think pepper spray makes your eyes SPICY?" I questioned.

He shot back. "Yeah! Doesn't it?"

And then I thought for a moment, and I realized that spicy eyes would be pretty good description for pepper spray's lasting effect.

"You know bud that is a very good way to explain it. But, " I waited to make sure he was listening, "what makes you think that Mommy has had spicy eyes?"

He blushed, and then said, "Well, I was listening one time when you were telling a story about you and a policeman."

Hmmm. Several of my police encounters ran through my mind and although none were fun, none also resulted in me being sprayed with pepper spray.

I gave it a shot in the dark. "E, mommy was talking about a ticket that a policeman gave her for not following a driving rule. They don't pepper spray you for getting a ticket, " I explained.

"Oh," he said quietly and with disappointment. Apparently, if I had been pepper sprayed, then I would have been a rock star. A measly ticket warranted nothing in E's estimation.

And any story that would make me a rock star . . . is obviously too spicy for a six year old!!

Sisters

There are times when words escape me. (I know. I know. It is not that often, much to my husband's chagrin.)

But, recently, a fellow blogger, Daffy, from Batcrap Crazy, lost her big sister unexpectedly, and when I heard the news, I instantly felt like I had been punched in the stomach. To lose a sister is more than just losing a member of your family. It means losing your best friend. It means losing your secret keeper. It means losing the person that shares your memories. My heart and thoughts and prayers goes out to my bloggy friend, Daffy.

In yucky times like these I am always comforted by strange things. Warm socks. Chocolate or bacon. And meaningful words. When thinking about losing a sister, I am comforted by e.e. cummings and his poem, i carry your heart with me.

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


You may recognize this poem from the recent movie, In Her Shoes, but as a former English teacher, I had discovered this beauty long ago. And really, how else can I share how special my bond is with own my sister, but to acknowledge that I carry her heart ( and secrets and memories and loves) within my own heart.

It is the best gift that I can give her.

So, to Daffy, know that your sister will always be a part of you and who you are. Find comfort in all of the loves and hugs that surround you, and if you need some Pig Candy (Bacon cooked in brown sugar. Holy yum!) know that I am just an email away.

And to my sister, Jaime, know that i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart).

I love you.

Extreme Insanity Makeover!

Hi y'all!

I got a makeover.

Can you tell?

Isn't my avatar cute and sassy?!? Just like me . . . I like to think.

It is still in early stages, and I have to add some photos in my family section, and some linkies to you all . . .but I love, love, love it!

Thanks to Bloggy Blog Designs for their help!