Friday, October 14, 2011

Pooping Out Babies . . .

It all started with one particularly memorable conversation.

"Mom, do ladies just poop out babies?"  Ethan asked after watching a commercial for TLC's A Baby Story. 

"Poop them out?! What? NO!"  I stammered quickly.  When I recovered, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked, "Why would you think that ladies pooped out babies anyway?"

He rolled his little seven year old eyes at me and slowly, and a bit impatiently explained, "Well, on TV the ladies get all scrunched up and pull on their legs and then grunt like they are pooping a really BIG poop."

Aha! (If only he knew how closely labor resembled a really BIG poop, but I digress. . .)

I went on to explain that ladies were specially made to have babies, and then for further clarification, I added, "Ladies have one hole that is ONLY for pooping, one hole that is ONLY for peeing, and one hole that is called a vagina that is made ONLY to have babies."

And since at seven I didn't think that he needed to know how babies actually came to be using THAT same baby hole, I ended the conversation there.  He seemed content with his new knowledge.

This morning, however, it became clear that I needed to go over Ethan's new vocabulary, yet again.  The conversation revolved around a friend of ours that had just delivered a baby.  Not wanting to be left out, Ethan smiled his jack-o-latern grin, nodded knowingly, and piped in his two cents, ". . .And . . . the baby came right out of her baby shooting hole!"


I am so proud.


  1. Funny Annie. I didn't get to have a baby that way...though I tried with all my might for a day and a half..anyways, while in 4nd grade they were talking babies and Mike knew how he came and the teacher was talking the normal way and was done with health for the day and my son pipes in, that's not how all babies come and the teacher said yes Mike that is and he said nope, my mama didn't get to do that, I popped out of her belly button not down there. I guess the teacher had to leave the room and then he called to share. Love it!!
    Take care Annie. Sorry it's been ages since I've stopped by. Just life stuff you know. Blessings!!

  2. I LOVE A Baby Story.

    And yes, the women do look like they're taking a dump right there on the delivery table.

    (Some actually do. So I've been told.)

    But Baby Shooting Hole?
    I think that could be TLC's next big show.

    Get a copy-write on that idea, lady.
    For real. ;-)

  3. Love that. When I was pregnant with my third and my son was 4 he used to tell everyone there were two ways to have a baby, you scoop them out or you push them out (all three of mine were c-sections). I am sure the teachers appreciated him educating the other children in that way!

  4. Bwhahahaha.... this is the best story ever.

    The baby shooting hole. I just love it.

  5. Interesting...Your kids think/thought we Mama's Poop Out The Babies, too. Baby Shooting Hole is the best ever how babies get here line ever! Way better than my know it all B who felt inclined to tell her pregnant teacher in Pre K how you feed babies.


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