Chatty Cathy Lives Again

After preschool yesterday, Ellerie explained how things work in her classroom.

"You have to raise your hand quietly and go like this." She put her right hand in the air and then put her index finger of her left hand over her closed lips to indicate quiet.  "Then, you get to be the one that picks the song for song time."

"Oh," I answered.  Then I thought for a moment and followed up with one question.  "So Ellerie, have YOU ever gotten to choose the song for song time?"

She smiled and replied, "Nope!"

Classic.

Chatty Cathy lives again.

It is going to be a long road to graduation.

Puppy Love

Today's Mama Kat's challenge was to write a six word memoir.

6 words?

Only 6?

This severely limits my gift for gab, but here goes . . .

The summer of puppy love insanity.

Or what about . . .



Art by Mark Schuler, image from kansaswatercolor.com



Waking with puppy . . . GREAT birth control.

Seriously y'all. Having a new puppy is like having a baby all over again.  Early a.m. wake ups, pee, poop, whining, stinkin' gates everywhere. . . what were we thinking?????

We had it good.

We had it good!

But if you pushed me, I would have to admit that there is just something about sweet puppy kisses and that wagging tale that suckers me in.

Every. damn. time.

Road Trip? I Don't Think So!

I have the opportunity to take my 3 kiddies to a family reunion 5 hours away this weekend. And while the good girl part of me really wants to go so that I can see hub's family and the kiddies will get to experience all the joys of visiting with both sane and insane members of the family, (Sorry Freak! I mean that in the nicest way. Really.) the bad girl part of me wants to say, nope.



No can do.



Why, you ask?



Well, the 5 hour car trip.

By myself.

With 3 kiddies.



That's why.


Really, do I have to say more?



Usually hubs and I make the trip together, and while it is typically still a painful commute, when it is the two of us, we can usually endure it.



But, me?



Alone?



With the kids?



Well, let's just say, I don't have the greatest track record with solo long car trips.



In fact, there is one particular car trip that I have nightmares about to this day. The 3 kids and I had traveled to my sister's house, a 10 hour car trip. The trip there was rather uneventful considering that I was traveling with a 9 month old, a 4 year old, and a 7 year old.

But the trip home?

Disaster.

The night before leaving for home, Ethan decided to start throwing up. He had a fever and was just plain miserable, but by morning, he was fever free and seemed empty, so I decided to continue with my plans to leave.

As a send off, my sister made a large breakfast of eggs, toast and bacon. Ethan ate nothing, Ab and I ate the yummy breakfast eagerly, and Ellerie, then just nine months, chirped in the highchair indicating that she wanted to try some foods from our plates. I indulged her with a bit of scrambled eggs. She gobbled them up quickly.

Within 5 minutes though, Ellerie had big red splotchy hives all over her body. She cried in discomfort and when I tried to console her, she promptly puked all over me. The planets clearly were in alignment for me NOT to leave, but I was homesick for my house and my husband, and I just figured that El had a touch of Ethan's virus and she would sleep it off like he did. (Side note . . . only later did we learn that Ellerie was and still is highly allergic to eggs. . . a totally separate blog post.)

So, I packed up the kiddies into our brand new mini van, and off we went.

One hour later we hit a horrendous bumper to bumper traffic jam. It was hot, and we weren't moving, and it happened.

Ethan started getting sick.

Ellerie cried . . . and started getting sick.

Abbie, bless her heart, tried to dole out garbage bags to her brother and sister, and then, she too got sick.

And, I did the only thing that I could.

I cried like a baby.

When we finally got out of traffic, and I had cleaned up the kids and the now-christened van, I tried to give the big kids instructions about how to get sick into their buckets that I had purchased at a roadside drugstore. They seemed weak and listless, but otherwise OK, and I thought maybe, just maybe I had endured the worst of it.

I was wrong.

After hours on the road with multiple stops for diarrhea and bucket dumping, I had finally had enough. I stopped at a hotel, a definite luxury normally, but a necessity on this trip. I needed a break. And a hot shower. And a bed. Desperately.

One at a time, I carried those sick kids into that hotel. Fortunately, the desk clerk helped me by standing watch over the remaining kiddies as I walked back and forth from the van to the room. One at a time, I bathed and washed each child's hair, gave them some tylenol for their fevers, and placed them in bed.

They all slept soundly.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I ran water for one more bath. Mine. I made the water scalding hot, and I had to inch my way down into that water, but once there, I relaxed. I inhaled the steam and let that hot water soothe my weary body. I sat there in that tub and cried and cried, but, thirty minutes later, I felt refreshed and finally, clean. True, I was exhausted, but at least I could get a good night's sleep, I thought. I cashed out in the hotel's big fluffly bed. It was about 9:30, and I was so glad that my nightmare day was over.

Unfortunately, at 12:00am I woke to the sound of the hotel's fire alarm going off.

No.

I am not kidding.

I called down to the front desk, convinced that it had to be a false alarm. The clerk assured me that it was not. I had to evacuate the hotel.

With three sick kids.

I hung up the phone, gently picked up a sleeping El and manuevered her into the Baby Bjorn. Then I gently shook Abbie awake enough so that she could walk and follow me. Finally, I picked up Ethan and cradled him in front of me and the baby in the front pack, and I walked those 3 sick babies out to our van.

To this day, I have no idea how I accomplished all of this.

The rest of the trip passed rather normally and we all got home safely, which is ultimately what matters most.

But, I still don't want to travel alone with the kiddies this weekend.

And you can't make me!

***** I am linking this to MamaKat's this week! Go check out some other road trip stories. Go on. Go! *********

Dinner Is (Soft) Served

It's vacation time.

And, when it's vacation time . . . some rules just go out the window.

Like the rule about finishing dinner BEFORE you eat dessert??

When it's vacation, sometimes dessert IS dinner.

After all, if you can't eat ice cream for dinner on vacation, when can you?

And yes . . .

my kids think I am a rock star mom.

On the Road Again . . .

Question: What does one "mommed" van + one crazy mama + three bored kiddies equal??

Answer: The words, "NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!!" said 15,000 times.


Pray for me!


6 hours down.

4 1/2 more to go.

Disney Confessions . . .

The cousins posing for a pic.

I confess . . . it's been awhile since my last confession post.

Forgive me?

Yes?

Good. I feel better already.

On to more absolution . . .

I confess that I love Disney World. I wear the goofy hats, made the kids wear the goofy hats, and I even hugged on all of the characters that I met! I know. I know. I am a grown woman. I should practice a little more restraint, but, it is just soooo much fun to partake of the silliness. Seriously, if a 5 foot mouse were to approach me say, in my home, I would be after that rodent with a bat in less than a heartbeat. But, in Disney World a 5 foot mouse inspires nothing but love and affection, go figure!

Ab with Princess Minnie ears.

Ethan with Sorcerer Mickey ears that lit up!

I confess that on our recent Disney adventure, when an old teacher of mine that works as a stage manager at one of the parks was able to work a little special Disney magic, I almost peed my pants with excitement and enjoyment. My kids were jedis!! We all got to meet Darth Vader and denounce the dark side! Darth tried to tempt us with signed light sabers, but my kids used the force and said, "Step off!" Sure, it was dorky and geeky, but it was heaven! Nerd heaven, but still heaven!!

(That's me in the front holding a terrified Ellerie.)

I confess that Darth invaded my dreams that week. Does that mean I will join the dark side? Or that secretly, I want to be bad? Very, very bad? Hmmmm. I confess that I don't have the answer. (But, it sure is fun to think about!)


I confess that for the entire week in Disney, I did not formally work out.

I confess that it didn't matter that I didn't work out, because I walked approximately 7,000 miles while carrying a 40 pound Ellerie. No. I am not kidding. (My back sincerely wishes that I was!) Apparently the little turkey decided that she did not want to be restrained within the confines of her stroller. She even escaped a time or two when forcibly put in the seat. Consequently, I probably burned at least 20,000 calories trekking all over the kingdoms with her 40 pounds of love in my arms. (The insane things that we do for our kids . . . and for myself for that matter . . .)

Ellerie with a poopie face. Imagine that.

I confess. We had a ball! :)

Is that Elton John?!?

The Dangers of Too Much Snow

Just so you know . . . snow days can be a little dangerous. What with all of the snow and ice and wind, crazy and unexpected things could happen.





You could slip on the ice.






You could have a fender bender.







Or, you could have a different crazy event.





For example, the last time we got this much snow, it was three years ago. Staying warm and cozy was obviously a priority. So, we hunkered down in our jammies, drank hot cocoa, and ate cookies. Overall, I'd say that we survived the winter storm quite nicely. And, as a bonus, we even had a souvenir of the huge snowfall.




A souvenir that arrived . . . 9 months later.


Ellerie, 2 years, 3 months old

Yes. Apparently, we are experts at staying warm and cozy. Experts, I tell you! That is why this year, during this storm, hubby and I are staying at least three feet away from each other at all times. We are not sharing stolen glances across the dinner table. Heck, we aren't even sharing a can of coke. We are not taking any chances this time.

After all, winter storms can be dangerous!

Monday Morning Blues

Monday, January 4th- Kids back to school!!!!

My morning . . .

4:30 Wake up and can't get back to sleep, because I am thinking of all the things that I have to do today.

6:30 Finally back to sleep. 

7:00 Out of bed.  7 degrees outside.  Curse the fact that I no longer live in FL.

7:05 First coffee.  Goes down without my tasting it.  Just trying to get warm.

7:07 Second coffee and a leftover Krispy Kreme.  Beginning to wake up.

7:08 On couch with Christmas snuggie from hubby.  Watch dvr'ed Holmes on Homes.

7:10  Consider the fact that home improvement guys (that know what they are doing) are a huge turn on.  Seriously? Ty Pennington is a super hottie.

7:30 Abbie up.  Write and address bills for the beginning of the month.

7:45 Make Abbie's lunch.

7:50 El up.

8:00 Help Ab get ready for school.  Change a diaper.  Curse the fact that El is not potty trained yet.  Wake up E.

8:05  Put on a bra. Realize that no one would notice if I did not wear one, as I am not even getting out of the car, but know that I can not stand loose, floppy boobs as I run out to the cold car.  Pull warm ups on over my pj  bottoms and a sweat shirt over my pj top.  Hope for a shower later.

8:10  Warm up frozen car.  Notice that I am 3,000 miles past my last oil change.  Wonder at the fact that the car even started.  10 degrees outside.

8:25 Load up the car with kiddies that can't put their arms down because of their immense snow gear.  Drive Ab to school.

8:34  Arrive home.  Unload.  Feed El and E breakfast.  Help them get dressed for the day.

8:40 Change poopie diaper.  Look for my coffee cup that I have misplaced.  

8:50  Finally go to the bathroom.  Alone.  (Whooeee!)  Brush teeth.  Feel thankful that my short haircut looks OK after I have slept on it for an entire night.

9:00 Load up car AGAIN.  Drive E to school. 

9:10  Drive thru coffee at Caribou Coffee.  Hello Cafe Mocha!  Celebrate the fact that I am down 2 kiddies for morning errands.

9:15 Bank.

9:20 Gas

9:30 Post office.

9:40 Sam's club.  Realize that I am not a business member of Sam's and can not get into the actual store until 10am.  Curse Mr. Walton.

9:55  Change plans and go to Lowes.  Check out clearance appliances for the kitchen remodel.  Find none, but see that they are having a super deal on carpeting.  Wonder if we should get carpeting NOW instead of waiting, as planned.

10:15  Back to Sam's.  Pay a bill and then order new contacts at the eye center.  El plays with the sunglass display.  Notice that she doesn't really match, and her hair is now sticking straight up in the back from rubbing it against her car seat.

10:45  Venture to Jiffy Lube for a much needed oil change.  Get talked into a tire rotation, but in turn, convince them to give me $10 off the service because I left my $10 coupon at home.

11:15  Realize that Jiffy Lube is not necessarily that jiffy.  Wonder if they need the industrial strength vacuum to suck up all of the stray french fries underneath Ellerie's seat.

11:30 Pick up Ethan.

11:35 Home to make lunch.

11:40  Find my missing coffee cup in the pantry.

And how was your morning?

Family Pics

Recently, we attempted the impossible.  We attempted to get a family picture.  Not an easy task I tell you.  Not an easy task!  What with squirmy kids (and noses to pick, I might add), it is quite the miracle that we even got any acceptable shots.

This would have been rocking if I would have just looked at the camera!  

Here's one of  the ultimate daddy's girl!

I just love how hubby's eyes are closed as if he is drinking in her delightful, Ellerie esscence.  I feel like that too sometimes when I get to snuggle with her rarely displayed quiet side.  I just love to close my eyes and smell her. ( I know.  I know.  I am probably just weird.)

This one is our Christmas card this season.  All eyes are looking in the same direction, no panties are visible, and all fingers are far from nostrils. Perfect! 

Here's one of my favorite of the day.  Hubby and I snuggling up.  I just love this guy!!

When I told my friend Kim, our photographer, how much I loved this photo,  she let me in on a little secret.  We are airbrushed!  No wonder we look so fresh and young!!  When she showed me the untouched originals, I had my normal, deep worry wrinkle right smack in the middle of my forehead, and my age spot was front and center on my left cheek.  Let's just say that I love digital photography!

And here are Ab and E.  Ab is posing for the camera and wears her forced "model" smile, and E is his normal goofy self.

All in all, a successful shoot I would say.

Special thanks to my friend Kim from Flickers of a Dream Photography for taking the time to deal with our craziness!  Love you girl!! 

Visiting Santa

Yesterday I took the kiddies to see Santa.  Here are some of the highlights of the adventure:

1.  Arrive to see the fat man, himself,  and realize that the line is about 20 people deep.  Actually feel excited that it is only 20 people deep and not 40.

2.  Watch as Ethan systematically knocks over the winding, holding ropes for the line.  (Did you know that when one topples they all topple in domino-like style?  Actually, it was pretty cool.)

3.  Answer approximately 547 people who ask, "Oooh!  What happened to her leg?" when they see Ellerie's neon purple cast.

4.  Receive approximately 547 knowing looks after the explanation, which, oddly, do not make me feel any better about it.

5.  Listen to Ellerie's screams of delight when she spied Santa Claus.

6.  Listen to all of the snickers from the people that heard Ellerie happily call out, "Santa Cock!  Santa Cock!"

7.  Snicker myself at her turn of phrase.  Remember that she will be red-faced and embarrassed when I tell this story to her future boyfriend.

8.  Watch as Ethan and Ab climb up on Santa's lap, and Ethan gives him a full minute long list of his must-haves for Christmas.  

9.  Acknowledge Santa's roll of the eyes and his knowing wink at me at the preposterous length of Ethan's list.  (By the way, Santa's response to Ethan was, "Buddy, I'll try my best.")

10.  Hold Ellerie captive between my legs as she thrashes on the floor in temper tantrum mode, screaming, "No!  Santa Cock!  Noooooooo!"

11.  Accept the polite giggles and chortles that waft their way to my ears.  Realize that karma is a bitch, and they will get theirs!

12.  Discover that Santa brought his real live reindeer. (How cool!!)  Watch as they laze around in the hay.

13.  Discover the nativity scene with real live barn yard animals. 

14. Hold my nose because of the lovely aroma emanating from those same barnyard animals.

15.  Listen to Ethan's exclamation of surprise when he spied the donkeys playing piggy back.  Realize that the donkeys were, shall we say, being a bit amorous, and not, in fact, playing piggy back.

16.   Pee my pants from laughing so hard.

17. Avoid  a full-blown birds and the bees conversation with the kiddies by agreeing with Ethan's piggy back assessment of the donkeys.

And how was your evening?!?!

She Picked One for You Too

Continuing on the theme from my earlier post today . . .

Ellerie walked up to me and smiled.  It was obvious to me that she had something in her mouth.

"What are you eating, silly girl?"  I questioned her.

She smiled and said, " MMMMmmmmm.  Yum.  Boogie!"

My sanitary, germ-a-phobic self almost passed out at the explanation.  And, it dawned on me that  . . .

1) Piggies will surely fly at my house, and my kids WILL inevitably get the H1N1 flu at this rate. 

or

2)My booger obsessed kids have the strongest immune systems of any kiddies around.  Their little systems look at those big bad flu germs and laugh in their faces!  Flu germs, ha!  They have been taking their boogie vitamins!!!

I am hoping for number 2! 

An Apple a Day . . .

On one of those beautiful fall days last week, we went to a local apple orchard and picked apples. Now, before we arrived, I had never been there before. I imagined large, established apple trees. I envisioned walking under a canopy of branches strewn with ripe apples. I worried that I would have to deal with Ellerie and a ladder. Much to my surprise, though, this orchard was not the orchard I imagined.

This orchard was, well, a mini orchard. The local farmer invested in hybrid apple trees that only grow to about 5 1/2 feet and that grow clusters of apples on their low branches. These were more like apple bushes rather than apple trees.

And, I have to be honest. I was a little disappointed.

That is, I was disappointed until I realized how very excited the kiddies were. They were tickled pink that they could reach each and every apple to pick exactly the one that they wanted.

So, I turned my frown upside down, and I got to picking!

Once El realize that she was actually allowed to pull the apples off of the trees, she went to town! She often pulled so hard that she toppled herself right over. This apple was particularly stubborn. (Just like El! Ha!)

Later, as we filled our apple bag, El tried in vain to carry it from one spot to another. I even had a hard time with it once it was full. It was over 25 pounds! (So, if my calculations are correct, that made a 50 plus pound carry for me back to the car . . . 25lb. apples + 30 plus lbs. of El = one tired Annie!)

The kiddies obviously had a ball, and I did too. I think that the apple picking may become an annual fall tradition.

Now . . . does anyone have any good apple recipes?

Falling for Fall

It is raining today, and you know how much I love the rain.

(Hey! Was that a snicker I heard?!? No laughing! )

So, despite the yucky rain, I am attempting to look at the positive. The rain is giving me some time to catch up my blogs and blog reading. Geez! I am becoming quite addicted to some of you.

Just saying.

Anyhow, this past week, we had some beautiful weather here in the Midwest. Absolutely beautiful! I just had to be outside with the kiddies to enjoy the 60 degree temps and the blue, blue skies. Days like these don't come all that often in my neck of the woods. Usually from late November through March the skies are gray, gray and you guessed it, more gray. So with this week's vibrant blue skies and the fall leaves turning orangy and yellow, I felt like I was awash in a rainbow.

What a lovely gift!

To make the most of these days, the kiddies and I went to the local arboretum.

We took a hike on a nature trail.

We played in the leaves.

We chased each other through the labyrinth. (Gotta love this girl when she gets the giggles!)

We just ate up all of those fall colors! Yum!!

Overall, we played in the sunshine and had a fabulous time!

I love fall days like these.

Now, I am off to a cold, rainy, wet leaves stuck to my shoes, Saturday morning at the soccer field. If you are there, I'll be the one that resembles the shivering, wet drowned rat!

Just saying.

Nobody Nose the Trouble . . .

I was wondering when it would happen. 

Today was the day!

All three of my children have now officially stuck an object up their  respective noses.

Abbie's was a french fry.  Easy enough to pull out, but because of the salt, a bit tear inspiring.

Ethan's was a piece of pepperoni.  Don't ask me how he even got that in his little nostril!  It was wedged in quite well, and  that peppy pepperoni produced many a tear and some sweat.  It must have been pretty spicy.  Ethan definitely cleared his sinuses that day.

And now, dear Ellerie.  Miss El decided to try out a popcorn kernel.  This was definitely the most difficult to extract, but dig I did!  After a few tears and giggles from her brother, the kernel "popped" out (Ha!) covered in booger slime.

Success!

Time to celebrate.

To Shoot the Impossible Shot

Have you ever tried to do something impossible?

Say . . . climb a mountain or run a marathon?

Or, what about trying to get a picture of three squirmy children, when they are all looking in the same direction, smiling pleasantly, and not picking their noses?

No?

Well don't try!  I am here to tell you that taking an acceptable picture of my crew is an

 impossible task!  You will be much more successful if you attempted to climb that mountain or to run that marathon than if you attempted to photograph my kiddies.  They are moving targets!

Just look at the lovely pics that my crew treated me to one afternoon this week . . .

El!  What a ham!  It's amazing that this is in focus.  She rushed me with a huge "cheese"!

This was an attempt at a 3 man pyramid.  Except that El was literally choking Ab, and . . .

E has no balance, whatsoever!  He landed with a thud, distracted El, and Ab was finally free to breathe and smile.

Another attempt at the pyramid produced this gem.  I remember thinking that 2 out of 3 kids wasn't too bad!  And finally, after much perseverance and a bit of colorful language (under my breath of course) . . .

I shot this pic.  While not technically fabulous, they are all looking in the same direction, they all have pleasant expressions, and there is no nose picking.  A miracle to say the least.

Professional photographers earn every penny and then some!

More Than Words . . .

Things that I have said (that I never thought I would have to say):

Don't play with your penis.

Pee- pees are private.  Please go put on your underwear. 

What do you mean you do not have on underwear?

Feet don't eat.  Get your feet off the table.

Boogers are made of dirt.  Do you seriously want to eat dirt?

Hold it in!  Hold it in!  Don't get sick at the table!

Did you wipe your butt well?

Did you wash your hands?

Are you sure?

Really?

Mommy needs a dose of caffeine.  Please, let mommy get some coffee.

I am not sleeping.  I am resting my eyes.

Aren't you tired?  How is it possible that you guys are not tired?

Did you boy look or did you girl look for that?

Really?

Did you move the milk before you asked me where it is?

Hmm.  I thought so.

Sniff her butt.  Does she stink?

Is that poopie or chocolate?   Mmmmm.  Chocolate.

Ellerie!  That is not a slide!  That is a bannister!

Do I have to be Darth Vader again?

No, it isn't a step monster it is a step- mother.  There is a difference.

Tinkerella?  Oh!  You mean Tinkerbell!

Where are your clothes?

Why are you naked, outside, on the swing?

Is that another outfit today?

Sniff the laundry.  It may not be that dirty.

No, you are a mo mo!

The tickle monster is coming to get you!!!

Snuggle closer.  I am cold!

I love you as many leaves are on the trees on the way to school.

More kisses please!

My heart hurts, I love you so much!

And all of these . . . just in the past week.  My family is the best.

Antagonizing E

Recently, after a morning of following his sister around and being a normal pesky little brother, Abbie had had enough of her brother Ethan!  She looked pointedly at me and pleaded, "Maaaaa- oooooom? Can you help me?  He is driving me crazy!" 

I instantly sympathized because I, too, was the big sister, and there were days when my younger sister drove me batty too.  I nodded yes to Ab and turned my attention to Ethan who was hiding behind the door in an attempt to scare Abbie as she walked by it.

"Ethan.  Can you please stop antagonizing your sister?"

He paused and hopped out of his hiding place.  I knew that that was too easy, so I waited for his next move.

"Mom, what's tag-o-nize?"

"Antagonize.  It means to try to drive your sister crazy on purpose.  It means to do things that you know that she does not like just because you can do them, " I reasoned.  "It makes her not want to play with you."

He pondered my words, hopped off my lap, and went to play with his Star Wars men in his room.  I figured that he had understood my explanation and that was that.

But it was not.

Yesterday, after our Sunday dinner, the kids asked if we could go get an ice cream treat.  Ice cream sounded good to me ( and really, when does it not?), so I loaded up the kiddies in the mom mobile and headed to the local ice cream shop, a Dairy Queen.

On the way there, Ethan asked from the back seat, "Mom?  Can I get a tag-o-nize blizzard?"

I didn't understand him right away.  "What E?  What kind of blizzard do you want?"  I questioned.

"A tag-o-nize blizzard.  I saw it on a commercial,"  he explained.  "It has peanut butter cookies and it will make me drive Abbie crazy."

This time I paused.  What in the world was he talking about?  Hmmmmm.  Then our earlier conversation dawned on me, and I had it figured out.

"Do you want an antagonizing blizzard Ethan?"  I asked.

Instantly, he smiled ear to ear and said, "Yep!  I want peanut butter and to drive Abbie crazy."

I laughed. 

Abbie did not. 

 "Ethan.  There is no antagonizing blizzard.  There is no blizzard that will magically give you power to torture your sister.  There is, however, a Tag-along blizzard at Dairy Queen, and it has peanut butter and chocolate cookies in it."

His smile disappeared briefly and he said, "Well, I suppose that I'll get that one instead."

He was quiet, but as a mom, I could spy into his heart, and I knew . . .

he really wished there was a tag-o-nize blizzard. 

Poor guy.  

Although, after a dose of sweet cream and sugar, he was certainly back to his pesky, antagonizing ways.

I should say . . . poor Ab.

Because really . . . any blizzard is an antagonizing blizzard when it comes to little brothers.

Not My Child! Monday 8/24

Although I was not planning on writing a Not My Child post today, my kiddies have been such stinkers the past few days, that I decided, what the hey!  I will indulge myself and expose my kiddies and their insanity in the hopes that I do not eat my way through pans and pans of brownies  (see my last post) .

Onto the craziness . . .

It was certainly not my child that stripped down to his birthday suit to use the facilities at the local Home Depot.  My child would know that to get naked in such a public place is just, well, gross.  My child would recognize that his mom is a germ-o-phobe and that she gets completely weirded out about public bathrooms.  And, during our Home Depot moment when I shouted a hearty, "Hurry up E!"  my child would not have shouted back through the stall door and the industrial sized outer bathroom door for all of the male Home Depot employees to hear, "Why mom?  Do you have to poop too?"  Nope!  Not my kid.

And it was certainly not my girl that threw such a fit in the grocery store today that the manager came over to ask if he could help calm her down in some way.  Ellerie would never scream at the top of her lungs with a tantrum.  Nope.  No way!  It was also not my child that when presented with a balloon from the manager stopped screaming immediately, smiled a cherubic smile at him, and said very clearly, "Thanks!"  No, my child would not be bribed with a balloon.  Nor would she be able to turn her dramatics on and off like a light switch.  That would take talent.

It was also not my child that when asked her opinion about a new outfit I modeled said, "Mom!  That's totally unfashionable on you."  Pause.   "But it would look good on me!"  My child would not assume to have a fashion sense that is better than her mother's at a mere 8 years old.  Ridiculous!

There.

Just a snippet  of insanity from the last few days.

Now you know why I am craving the brownies.

The Beauty of No Technology

There are just some things that are hard to explain.  

Like say, rocket science, or astrophysics.  

But, I wasn't schooling the kiddies in higher sciences.  I was talking about cartoons.  The conversation should have gone silky smooth, but, it didn't.  

Expecting a brief talk after days of rain and some comfort cartoon watching, I stood up, clapped my hands, and stated emphatically, "Ab.  Turn off the cartoons.  Your brain is going to fry. Time to put it to use."

Instantly, the whine started, "But, mom . . ."

And this time E joined in, "Mom, I don't want to use my brain today!"  I chuckled at his turn of phrase, but remained firm.

"Nope.  No whining and no more cartoons.  Find something to do!"

With that, Ab grumpily trudged over to the TV and turned it off.  Her poopie face told me that she was not pleased (and that I was probably doing something right!).  Trying to lighten the mood, I tried a new tactic.

"You know, when I was little, there weren't all of these cartoons."

Her interest must have been slightly piqued, because she said, "There wasn't?"

I grabbed the opportunity and answered, "Nope!  We had to wait for a whole week to watch cartoons.  They only came on on Saturday morning."

She laughed, shook her head, and said, "Mom!  Stop it.  You are lying."

This time it was time for me to laugh!  "I am not lying, kiddo.  Saturday morning was the only day for cartoons, and we only had three channels."

She thought about that for a second then countered, "Well, that's not so bad.  Three channels of kid shows means you had Disney, Nick and one other one." (She must be learning her rationalization skills from her mother!)

"Ab,"  I answered patiently,  "Three channels total!  Not three kids' channels. No Disney.  No Nick.  Just stuff like the  Smurfs, Spiderman, and Scooby and the Harlem Globetrotters."

She just stared at me with that open-mouthed awe-filled look.  Finally, she said, "Mom.  I am so sorry that it was so bad for you when you grew up."

I found her concern so, so, so funny, but I held my giggles in and threw out another doozy.  "And . . . "  I paused for dramatic effect, "you had to change the channel with a pair of pliers."

And before Ab could give her reply, E piped in, "Did you lose your remote like we do?"

I laughed and explained, "No.  There were no remotes."

I could tell by the expressions on their faces that I could have just as easily been describing the depths of hell.  They just could not grasp a world without remotes.  

"No remotes?"

"No."

"None?"

"None.  You had to actually get up, walk across the room, and change the channel on the TV with a knob."

Silence.  Their little brains were whirring with all of this new information.  It's amazing that I didn't smell smoke.

And with heads shaking in disbelief, my kiddies departed to a rainy day afternoon of building towers and playing with action figures and dolls.  Just pure,  no technology fun.  Beautiful!

That is, no tech, if you don't count the movies they took of their action figures as they scaled the block tower.

Still beautiful, none-the-less.

****** Check out The Inspired Room for other Beautiful Friday moments.

The Cost of Fun

Pink Lemonade for Lemonade Stand  : $2.59

Dixie Cups  : $1.99

Assorted Papers and Markers  for Signs:  approximately $2.00

Total: $6.58

Keeping kiddies occupied for 3 solid hours on a summer day :  Priceless!