Not My Child! Monday 8/24

Although I was not planning on writing a Not My Child post today, my kiddies have been such stinkers the past few days, that I decided, what the hey!  I will indulge myself and expose my kiddies and their insanity in the hopes that I do not eat my way through pans and pans of brownies  (see my last post) .

Onto the craziness . . .

It was certainly not my child that stripped down to his birthday suit to use the facilities at the local Home Depot.  My child would know that to get naked in such a public place is just, well, gross.  My child would recognize that his mom is a germ-o-phobe and that she gets completely weirded out about public bathrooms.  And, during our Home Depot moment when I shouted a hearty, "Hurry up E!"  my child would not have shouted back through the stall door and the industrial sized outer bathroom door for all of the male Home Depot employees to hear, "Why mom?  Do you have to poop too?"  Nope!  Not my kid.

And it was certainly not my girl that threw such a fit in the grocery store today that the manager came over to ask if he could help calm her down in some way.  Ellerie would never scream at the top of her lungs with a tantrum.  Nope.  No way!  It was also not my child that when presented with a balloon from the manager stopped screaming immediately, smiled a cherubic smile at him, and said very clearly, "Thanks!"  No, my child would not be bribed with a balloon.  Nor would she be able to turn her dramatics on and off like a light switch.  That would take talent.

It was also not my child that when asked her opinion about a new outfit I modeled said, "Mom!  That's totally unfashionable on you."  Pause.   "But it would look good on me!"  My child would not assume to have a fashion sense that is better than her mother's at a mere 8 years old.  Ridiculous!

There.

Just a snippet  of insanity from the last few days.

Now you know why I am craving the brownies.