Why do I need coffee?
Oh . . . let me count the ways . . .
How about . . .
1. It has been raining for days (and days and days) and to reach my washer and dryer in the basement I need to use a rowboat. If I knew Noah, I would borrow his ark, so that I could save all of my off season shoes, in pairs, two by two.
2. Last night we had another line of severe storms go through our area that came complete with hail, damaging winds, and tornadoes.
3. The crazy storm caused all 3 of the kiddies to wake up in a frenzy.
4.The crazy storm also caused me to be in a frenzy, and I moved all three kiddies downstairs to the couches in order to prepare for a possible tornado.
5. After finally falling asleep at 2:15 am, hubs' alarm woke me up at 545 am. (Seriously, if it is still dark one should not be waking for the day. And furthermore, if it is dark and raining, one should immediately be able to call in sick. Because truthfully, I am sick. Sick. of. the. rain.)
6. A basement swimming pool and continued rain outside mean that there is no place to send the kiddies to get their energy out. We have built tents. We have played board games. We have danced to the Wii Dance Party. We are sick of each other.
7. Today I have to chaperon the monthly Girl Scout meeting. 8 girls, cupcakes, and duct tape fashion. (Aside: Lord, help me not to use the duct tape to cover their mouths. Amen.)
8. I have to tutor 4 students from 530 to 930 this evening. I will be immersed in parabolic functions, trigonometric functions, and x's and y's.
9. I have not been to the grocery store in 10 days. We have subsisted on pop tarts, water and pasta for 2 days.
10. Tomorrow forecasters say that we should see the sun. (Yay!) Of course, tomorrow is Thursday, and Thursday evening is hubs' golf night. (Boo!) I am considering hiring a babysitter to take the kiddies to the park so that I may enjoy Mr. Sunshine, by myself, on my back deck.
So, pass the caffeine Starbucks.
This momma needs it.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
He Has An Appetite . . .Just Not For Winning
The flag football coach leaned over the huddle of excited 6 year olds and yelled, "Are you ready?"
A chorus of cheers erupted. "YES! YES! YES!"
"Are you excited? Do you want to win?"
"YES! YES! YES!"
Grinning, the coach finished his pregame pump up. "Are you HUNNNNNN- GRY? Then get out there and play hard!"
The mass of squirmy, dirty boys whooped it up and ran out onto the field.
After the game, Ethan shared, "Mom! It was so much fun!"
I smiled and responded, "That's great buddy. It was fun to watch."
"But Mom?" he hesitated. "When the coach asked before the game if I was hungry. . . I really wasn't. I was just thinking about playing the game." He paused and added, "I am hungry now though."
Boys.
They are so literal.
A chorus of cheers erupted. "YES! YES! YES!"
"Are you excited? Do you want to win?"
"YES! YES! YES!"
Grinning, the coach finished his pregame pump up. "Are you HUNNNNNN- GRY? Then get out there and play hard!"
The mass of squirmy, dirty boys whooped it up and ran out onto the field.
After the game, Ethan shared, "Mom! It was so much fun!"
I smiled and responded, "That's great buddy. It was fun to watch."
"But Mom?" he hesitated. "When the coach asked before the game if I was hungry. . . I really wasn't. I was just thinking about playing the game." He paused and added, "I am hungry now though."
Boys.
They are so literal.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Dear God . . . What Do I Do About Ellerie ?
Dear Lord,
It's me.
Annie.
I know we have spoken about this before, but I am here again, with my same fervent plea. And in light of the fact that Ellerie has once again stripped naked and paraded her little birthday suit around the back yard yesterday, despite the fact that we were having company, I am now re-voicing my prayer for Ellerie's future.
Just in case you forgot, I will remind you of my specific intention from last year.
Keep me posted God.
And please, quit laughing!
Love,
Annie
Originally prayed in January of 2010 . . .
Dear God,
It's me.
Annie.
I realize that you only give people what they can handle. But seriously, after my day yesterday, I am beginning to think that you hold me in high regard. Thank you, sincerely, thank you for the flattery, but I have a question for you. Do you think that I am a superstar or something? Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, you may have me confused with someone else? Someone who has buckets of patience, for instance. Just asking.
Yesterday, when Ellerie decided to run around the house in her usual birthday suit, I was OK. I was even OK when she colored all over her naked body with a blue sharpie marker that she found in her sister's school supplies. (By the way, blue is definitely her color. ) When she peed on the floor two times instead of in her designated potty, I didn't bristle. I just looked at it as an opportunity to shine my floors. But, when she tried to stick a carrot from the refrigerator on her, you know . . . hoo-ha, and then said, "Wook mom! It's cold!" that, that put me over the edge. ( I suppose it could have been worse, though. At least she didn't channel Linda Blair.)
So, dear God, I am writing to let you know that I can not handle a daughter that has a future in Girls Gone Wild videos. I am a strong woman, but not that strong.
In the future, please direct my little angel to keep her veggies on her plate, where they belong. I will continue to do my part to keep her in clothes.
Thanks.
Annie
***********************I am linking to Mama Kat's workshop today. The prompt was "What do you think your children will be when they grow up?" Clearly, I am praying that I do not have an exhibitionist.************************************
It's me.
Annie.
I know we have spoken about this before, but I am here again, with my same fervent plea. And in light of the fact that Ellerie has once again stripped naked and paraded her little birthday suit around the back yard yesterday, despite the fact that we were having company, I am now re-voicing my prayer for Ellerie's future.
Just in case you forgot, I will remind you of my specific intention from last year.
Keep me posted God.
And please, quit laughing!
Love,
Annie
Originally prayed in January of 2010 . . .
Dear God,
It's me.
Annie.
I realize that you only give people what they can handle. But seriously, after my day yesterday, I am beginning to think that you hold me in high regard. Thank you, sincerely, thank you for the flattery, but I have a question for you. Do you think that I am a superstar or something? Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, you may have me confused with someone else? Someone who has buckets of patience, for instance. Just asking.
Yesterday, when Ellerie decided to run around the house in her usual birthday suit, I was OK. I was even OK when she colored all over her naked body with a blue sharpie marker that she found in her sister's school supplies. (By the way, blue is definitely her color. ) When she peed on the floor two times instead of in her designated potty, I didn't bristle. I just looked at it as an opportunity to shine my floors. But, when she tried to stick a carrot from the refrigerator on her, you know . . . hoo-ha, and then said, "Wook mom! It's cold!" that, that put me over the edge. ( I suppose it could have been worse, though. At least she didn't channel Linda Blair.)
So, dear God, I am writing to let you know that I can not handle a daughter that has a future in Girls Gone Wild videos. I am a strong woman, but not that strong.
In the future, please direct my little angel to keep her veggies on her plate, where they belong. I will continue to do my part to keep her in clothes.
Thanks.
Annie
***********************I am linking to Mama Kat's workshop today. The prompt was "What do you think your children will be when they grow up?" Clearly, I am praying that I do not have an exhibitionist.************************************
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Day 11 of 30 and It's Not Going Too Well . . .
Pamela at the Road to Joy put out a challenge recently.
The challenge was that for 30 days you had to actively look for the positive in your mate. You had to specifically acknowledge that positive to him or her and then you had to publicly share your praise of him or her.
"Easy peasy," I thought.
Hubs has millions of fabulous qualities. Surely I could come up with a mere 30 to praise him and spread the love. This would be no sweat.
I imagined birds suddenly appearing every time I got near him . . .
to give him his daily positive thought.
I imagined stars falling down from the sky every time he walked by . . . when I gave him a word or two of encouragement.
I imagined all the girls (around blog town), following him, all around . . . just to be close to him in all of his positive awesomeness.
It would be great.
Day one I threw hubs a compliment over lunch.
"Hon? I love that you make me laugh."
He raised his eyebrow at me while chewing his salad. "Umm, " crunch, crunch, "what?" crunch, crunch, "That is totally random but . . . thanks?"
So, the angels weren't getting together to sprinkle moon dust in his hair anytime soon. I still forged on.
Day two I tried to compliment his physique while he was getting dressed.
"You have great arms, you know?" I cooed.
He stopped in mid-dress, looked at me, and said seriously, "Arms? I have good arms? What is that about?"
This 30 day positive challenge was clearly not the dream come true I imagined.
But I have learned a few things. I have learned . . .
1) I clearly do not praise hubs enough if every time I do praise him he thinks that I am up to something.
2) Although my intentions are pure, I have forgotten to do the challenge on multiple days.
3) I think that if I do not make praising hubs a conscious decision daily, he probably doesn't get many positive pats on the back, and that makes me just sad.
4) This challenge is MUCH HARDER than I thought. Not because hubs is anything less than fantastic, but because I am. I am human, and sometimes it is EASIER to see the negative.
5)I am committed to continue this challenge because it a) makes hubs and me feel good, and b) I hate to lose.
************My sincere apologies to the Carpenter's for butchering their Close to You song.*********
The challenge was that for 30 days you had to actively look for the positive in your mate. You had to specifically acknowledge that positive to him or her and then you had to publicly share your praise of him or her.
"Easy peasy," I thought.
Hubs has millions of fabulous qualities. Surely I could come up with a mere 30 to praise him and spread the love. This would be no sweat.
I imagined birds suddenly appearing every time I got near him . . .
to give him his daily positive thought.
I imagined stars falling down from the sky every time he walked by . . . when I gave him a word or two of encouragement.
I imagined all the girls (around blog town), following him, all around . . . just to be close to him in all of his positive awesomeness.
It would be great.
Day one I threw hubs a compliment over lunch.
"Hon? I love that you make me laugh."
He raised his eyebrow at me while chewing his salad. "Umm, " crunch, crunch, "what?" crunch, crunch, "That is totally random but . . . thanks?"
So, the angels weren't getting together to sprinkle moon dust in his hair anytime soon. I still forged on.
Day two I tried to compliment his physique while he was getting dressed.
"You have great arms, you know?" I cooed.
He stopped in mid-dress, looked at me, and said seriously, "Arms? I have good arms? What is that about?"
This 30 day positive challenge was clearly not the dream come true I imagined.
But I have learned a few things. I have learned . . .
1) I clearly do not praise hubs enough if every time I do praise him he thinks that I am up to something.
2) Although my intentions are pure, I have forgotten to do the challenge on multiple days.
3) I think that if I do not make praising hubs a conscious decision daily, he probably doesn't get many positive pats on the back, and that makes me just sad.
4) This challenge is MUCH HARDER than I thought. Not because hubs is anything less than fantastic, but because I am. I am human, and sometimes it is EASIER to see the negative.
5)I am committed to continue this challenge because it a) makes hubs and me feel good, and b) I hate to lose.
************My sincere apologies to the Carpenter's for butchering their Close to You song.*********
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Gleefully Coming Out of the Closet on Vacation
Vacation was fabulous.
Thank you for asking.
While in sunny Florida playing by the pool and relaxing at the beach, there was only one thing that bothered me.
My hair.
It was in that in-between stage. The stage where is doesn't fall quite right. Usually this stage comes before long hair, but truthfully in 10 years, I have never made it past this stage. I try to endure the hair in my eyes, and I try to embrace the messy look, but after 27 days of wearing a bandanna to tame my locks, I usually give in and cut.
It is a vicious, vicious cycle, and I reached the end of the cycle while I visited Florida.
The only solution to my problem was to do the deed, so I found a hair salon, walked in, and had them cut it.
No problem.
It isn't the best cut that I have ever had (remember when I was scalped????), but I figured that it would grow out and my girl (whom I love, love, love!! Thank you Patty!!!) could fix it. I was feeling quite good, and back to my sassy Annie-self.
That is, I was feeling quite good until Ab spied my new do.
Her comment?
"Mom, you look like the boy that likes other boys on that singing show you watch."
Yes.
Ab thinks I look like the character, Kurt, from Glee.
Apparently, I now resemble a singing, openly gay teenager.
Seriously.
Stop laughing.
(Incidentally, I am quite sure that hubs thinks that I pulled a bait and switch on him since I had long hair when we married. When I cut it the day after our honeymoon, I think that hubs even shed a tear. I, however, did a dance of joy!)
Thank you for asking.
While in sunny Florida playing by the pool and relaxing at the beach, there was only one thing that bothered me.
My hair.
It was in that in-between stage. The stage where is doesn't fall quite right. Usually this stage comes before long hair, but truthfully in 10 years, I have never made it past this stage. I try to endure the hair in my eyes, and I try to embrace the messy look, but after 27 days of wearing a bandanna to tame my locks, I usually give in and cut.
It is a vicious, vicious cycle, and I reached the end of the cycle while I visited Florida.
The only solution to my problem was to do the deed, so I found a hair salon, walked in, and had them cut it.
No problem.
It isn't the best cut that I have ever had (remember when I was scalped????), but I figured that it would grow out and my girl (whom I love, love, love!! Thank you Patty!!!) could fix it. I was feeling quite good, and back to my sassy Annie-self.
That is, I was feeling quite good until Ab spied my new do.
Her comment?
"Mom, you look like the boy that likes other boys on that singing show you watch."
Yes.
Ab thinks I look like the character, Kurt, from Glee.
 |
| google images |
Apparently, I now resemble a singing, openly gay teenager.
Seriously.
Stop laughing.
 |
| google images |
It could be worse.
I could look like Puck.
(Incidentally, I am quite sure that hubs thinks that I pulled a bait and switch on him since I had long hair when we married. When I cut it the day after our honeymoon, I think that hubs even shed a tear. I, however, did a dance of joy!)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Vacation Conversations . . . Part 1
"Hon?"
"Huh?"
"What's that smell?"
"What smell?"
Sniffing I answered, "THAT smell. The one that smells like something is rotting. THAT smell."
Hubs shrugged his shoulders, glanced in the rear view mirror, and then cleared up the mystery. "It's Ethan. He took his shoes off."
***********************************************************************************
"Hon?"
"Huh?"
"Did you see that?"
"See what?"
Glancing over my shoulder in disbelief I answered quickly, "THAT! The lady that was changing her clothes in the gas station parking lot while you were buying coffee."
He chuckled, glanced back at the gas station wistfully, and said, "Nope. Didn't catch that one. Was it good?"
"Nope. Too little underwear to cover such a big lady."
****************************************************************************
"Hon?"
"Huh?"
"Did you see that?"
"What?"
Explaining I said, "THAT man." I pointed behind my magazine. "Him! The grandpa man. He is reading Playboy!"
"And?"
"And . . . he is reading about naked women right here as all of our kiddies are running past him to jump in the pool."
Hubs reasoned with a twinkle in his eyes, "Well . . . it does have good articles."
*******************************************************************************
"Huh?"
"What's that smell?"
"What smell?"
Sniffing I answered, "THAT smell. The one that smells like something is rotting. THAT smell."
Hubs shrugged his shoulders, glanced in the rear view mirror, and then cleared up the mystery. "It's Ethan. He took his shoes off."
***********************************************************************************
"Hon?"
"Huh?"
"Did you see that?"
"See what?"
Glancing over my shoulder in disbelief I answered quickly, "THAT! The lady that was changing her clothes in the gas station parking lot while you were buying coffee."
He chuckled, glanced back at the gas station wistfully, and said, "Nope. Didn't catch that one. Was it good?"
"Nope. Too little underwear to cover such a big lady."
****************************************************************************
"Hon?"
"Huh?"
"Did you see that?"
"What?"
Explaining I said, "THAT man." I pointed behind my magazine. "Him! The grandpa man. He is reading Playboy!"
"And?"
"And . . . he is reading about naked women right here as all of our kiddies are running past him to jump in the pool."
Hubs reasoned with a twinkle in his eyes, "Well . . . it does have good articles."
*******************************************************************************
Friday, April 1, 2011
When Skydiving Equals Sex . . .
Clearly, I have some more explaining to do.
This morning my group-on coupon email detailed a tandem skydiving adventure for 50% off. Knowing that hubs is terrified of heights, I joked with Ab, "You think that I should buy the tandem skydiving jump for me and dad?"
She rolled her eyes, started giggling nervously, and said, "No! We don't want anymore babies in this house."
Huh???
What???
I gently prompted her, "Hon? Why would jumping out of a plane result in more babies?"
She blushed and then answered in a half whisper, "You know. . . you and dad will be strapped together like when you . . ." and then she paused, glanced over her shoulder to look for hubs, and breathlessly finished, " . . . have sex!"
With difficulty, I contained my laughter, and explained, "Well, just hugging a person close is not the same as having sex. You wouldn't get a baby from jumping out of a plane holding someone close."
Relief washed over her as she exclaimed, "Oh!"
I chuckled at the way her mind worked, and thinking that our conversation was over, I went back to my morning coffee and emails.
Then she dropped the bomb.
"So what parts of the body do have to touch . . .exactly . . . to make a baby?"
Clearly, I have some more birds and bees explaining to do.
*******For other birds and bees explanations . . . see Basking in the Afterglow, Lyrically Speaking, and Visiting Santa. (And no . . . Santa is not a pedophile . . .)******
And, after going through these links I realize ( even more) that I could use some help with the birds and bees explanations from any of you out there. Help a girl out, won't ya? :)
This morning my group-on coupon email detailed a tandem skydiving adventure for 50% off. Knowing that hubs is terrified of heights, I joked with Ab, "You think that I should buy the tandem skydiving jump for me and dad?"
She rolled her eyes, started giggling nervously, and said, "No! We don't want anymore babies in this house."
Huh???
What???
I gently prompted her, "Hon? Why would jumping out of a plane result in more babies?"
She blushed and then answered in a half whisper, "You know. . . you and dad will be strapped together like when you . . ." and then she paused, glanced over her shoulder to look for hubs, and breathlessly finished, " . . . have sex!"
With difficulty, I contained my laughter, and explained, "Well, just hugging a person close is not the same as having sex. You wouldn't get a baby from jumping out of a plane holding someone close."
Relief washed over her as she exclaimed, "Oh!"
I chuckled at the way her mind worked, and thinking that our conversation was over, I went back to my morning coffee and emails.
Then she dropped the bomb.
"So what parts of the body do have to touch . . .exactly . . . to make a baby?"
Clearly, I have some more birds and bees explaining to do.
*******For other birds and bees explanations . . . see Basking in the Afterglow, Lyrically Speaking, and Visiting Santa. (And no . . . Santa is not a pedophile . . .)******
And, after going through these links I realize ( even more) that I could use some help with the birds and bees explanations from any of you out there. Help a girl out, won't ya? :)
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