What do you say when . . .
-your six year old son says, "WOW mom! My penis is sooooooo big right now."?
- you discover that your three year old has a secret hiding place under the dining room table where she has hidden her babies, your cell phone, and an old banana?
-you discover that said hiding place is also where your 3 year old goes to pick her nose in "pwi- vate."?
What do you say when . . .
-you are looking for your favorite pair of tweezers and your nine year old daughter remarks, "Yeah mom. I was going to tell you that you needed to tweeze."?
-your three year old declares, "No panties! I don't like panties!!"?
-your husband explains, "I thought that I would help with the laundry. I put a load of my sweatshirts in the wash . . . on delicate."?
And finally . . .
What do you say when . . .
-you discover that your team name at the local watering hole's trivia night is Crouching Woman, Hidden Cucumber? (Stop laughing! I am not making this stuff up, and it gets worse.)
- you find out that you have been selected to represent team Crouching Woman, Hidden Cucumber in a trivia game musical tie in front of the entire population of the watering hole?
-the trivia game's emcee asks, "Are you THE Crouching Woman, Hidden Cucumber?" (See. I told you.)
Yeah.
I am speechless too.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Bwhahahahahahaa..... excellent way to start my day. As to the penis comment, there are moments I am thankful I am not yet a parent, and reading that might be one of them. Because I have no idea what the hell I would say. Knowing me, I'd ignore it and make my husband (who also doesn't exist but does for the purposes of this pretend "how I would deal with this situation" hypothetical) handle it. Yup. Avoid and delegate. Totally what I would do.
ReplyDeleteAs for your trivia name... LOVE IT. I played with some guy friends of mine before I left school, and their team name was Harpoontang. What?? Another team was the Pearl Necklace Productions. It was a classy establishment, what can I say....
Oh and 30... so far so good :)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thanks for the laugh. It's certainly nice to read my 3 year old monkeys aren't the only ones who leave bananas under a table for later!
ReplyDeleteThese are the days you're going to LOVE in years to come -- enjoy and don't forget to get this blog printed! As for the penis comment, it's all in perspective, isn't it! Was your moment on television and did you have a banner? That would be soooooo cool!
ReplyDeleteTo all of them say, "Mommy needs to embibe in an adult beverage or forty and Mommy will be back in a week!"
ReplyDeleteUm, can I just say I caught one of my girls with a giant booger perched on the tip of her finger and she was looking at it like she was about to try it. I screamed at her to go get a Kleenex. At least your daughter has a hiding place to do it in private. Mine doesn't care who sees her, apparently. LMAO
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the babies and cell phone as much as the old banana. Yucky!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking one for the team, musical representative!!!
ReplyDeleteYou don't say anything. You simply write a fabulous post and make us all laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhhahahahaha!! Wow, if only my life were THAT entertaining!! Awesome :)
ReplyDeleteWas this all in one day? *Shudder* May The Force be with you.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Love it. You had me at "My penis is so big right now!"
ReplyDeleteKids are so funny. I cannot wait until my 16th month old talks!