Not Me! Vacation Edition

It is Monday, and I have some dooozies for the Not Me! carnival of therapy today.  If it gets too much for you, may I suggest that you step away from your screen, catch your breath, and return when you can.  Remember!  I have warned you!

On to the insanity . . .

It was Not Me that advised E to add his part to the water balance in the Atlantic Ocean rather than walk all the way back to the beach house to use the facilities.  Clearly, I would not have advised my five year old to pee in the ocean rather than the toilet.  I would never!  I would also not have laughed as I witness his shocked face turn to pure glee as he realized that I was actually serious. Nope!  Not Me!

It was also not me that attempted to bake a Fourth of July treat and almost poisoned the family with chemical fumes.  I would have checked that the oven was not being used for snack storage before I turned it on to preheat.  I would never have melted 5 bags of snacks in their  plastic snack bags all over the oven.  Ridiculous!

It was not me that ordered fried oreos  (Yes, you read that correctly.  Fried. Oreos. Ummmm. Heaven???)  on the boardwalk under the guise that the kiddies needed to try new things on vacation.  It was not me that walked down the boardwalk with a look of pure pleasure on my face as I munched happily on that hot and sweet, fried doughy goodness.  It was not my children that begged me to get a second order of the treats after they scarfed down the first order with me in about 2 minutes flat.  They would never get off on such junk food.  Neither would I.

It was not me that promptly googled a calorie count for a fried oreo when I returned from the boardwalk.

It was also not me that fainted when I saw the dreaded calorie count.

I t was not me that allowed dear Ellerie to have her very own ice cream.  It was also not me that allowed her to solely feed herself the said ice cream.  It was not me that laughed with El as she dumped the soupy, melted contents on her head and then licked the drips as they ran down into her mouth.  Nope! Not me!  I would realize just how much of a mess ice cream in your hair creates.  I would never indulge a kiddie for my own enjoyment.  Silly!

It is not me that is loving being on vacation.

There! 

Much better!

On to week two of vacation . . .