So, here goes.
It was not me that gave Ellerie a baby wipe bath after her penchant for dumping oatmeal on her head. I would have made sure to give that baby a proper bath, especially since we were heading out in public. And, even though we were running late, I would have been sure to check to make sure that all of that oatmeal crustiness was gone before dropping her off to play in the gym's nursery. It is ridiculous to think that I would have shushed Ethan during the nursery drop off when he said, "Mom, it looks like El has boogers in her hair. Nope ! It's just oatmeal!" Nope. Not me! Never!
And, it was certainly not me that went awol for a few hours Friday afternoon. When I found out that my elementary school volunteering opportunity had fallen through at the last minute, I would have returned home to help hubby with three kids that were stir crazy from rain, rain and more rain. There is no way that I would have instead drove myself directly to the closest retail center to shop contentedly without kiddies. I wouldn't have done that, nor would I have felt such a guilty sense of pleasure. That would have been soooooo selfish and irresponsible (not to mention sneaky). I would never!
It couldn't have been me that indulged in that chocolate fountain at Saturday night's party. I would never do that, especially since I have to write down my food in my food journal and then give it to my trainer to examine. No, not me! There is no way that I would fudge my food journal either. I couldn't possibly!
It also wasn't me that retrieved my bra from the laundry, sniffed it, and then decided it was safe to wear, because there were no other bras clean (that I like and that fit me). Who does that?
Finally, it couldn't have been me that secretly gave 2 bags of old toys to goodwill while my kiddies were at school. I mean, seriously. What mother does that?
So, there it is in all of its brutal honesty.
I feel sooooo much better already.
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